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Josh Myrick

About Josh Myrick

https://calvarymoultrie.com/

Posts by Josh Myrick:

Family Worship Is Simpler Than You Think: Recovering the Ordinary Means of Grace in the Home

In the first article of this series back in April, we considered something that has quietly disappeared from many Christian homes: the regular practice of family worship. It has not disappeared because most Christian parents have rejected it. Very few fathers or mothers wake up and say, “I do not want my children to know the Lord.” The opposite is usually true. Most Christian parents deeply desire for their children to know Christ, love Scripture, believe the gospel, and walk faithfully with God. And yet, desire alone does not form a God-centered home.

Homes are formed by rhythms. By this, I mean that people are shaped by what is repeated, prioritized, and practiced time and time again. A family can say that Christ is central while the actual patterns of the home tell another story.  We have to understand that our family calendars preach to us, that our home habits are actually catechizing our loves. And if we are not careful, the things we never meant to make central slowly become central in our children’s minds and hearts.

This is why the loss of family worship matters so much. But before we go further, we need to slow down and clarify something important. When many people hear the phrase “family worship,” they immediately feel overwhelmed. Or at least I do, and I serve as a pastor, organizing worship services and sermons weekly. It sounds formal, almost like I am doing the same thing I do on Sundays and now I have to do every day. I am sure some people imagine a father giving a miniature sermon at the dinner table while every child sits quietly with folded hands and perfect theological attentiveness. And because that picture feels impossible, many families never begin.

But I have learned family worship is much simpler than that. You see, we have to see that family worship is not a performance. It is not a miniature church service or a seminary lecture. And really, my greatest concern is that parents do not realize that there is no guarantee every child will be converted if family worship in the home. Family worship is not meant to crush weary moms and dads with guilt.

At its heart, family worship is simply this: the regular gathering of a household around God’s Word, prayer, and praise. You see, these three habits and rhythms provide different and important tools that the Lord uses to prepare the heart of a child for things of great importance and value, but in no way do these habits assure that all will follow the Lord all the days of their lives. That is all family worship is: making God’s word, prayer and praise a major part of the normal rhythm of your family’s home. 

These three matter because God speaks to us through His Word. So then we respond to Him in prayer, and then naturally we should praise Him for who He is and what He has done. The setting may be a dinner table, a living room, a bedside, a front porch, or a minivan. The length may be five minutes or twenty. The children may be quiet, distracted, fidgety, sleepy, or full of questions. The point is the regular presence of these things, not perfection. Instead, it is always faithfulness.  A home does not need to be impressive to be worshipful. Maybe we simply need to recenter our priorities.

The Home Is Already Forming Someone

Every home has a liturgy, which may sound strange at first, since we usually associate liturgy with formal worship services. But a liturgy is simply a pattern of repeated practices that shapes what we love. Every home has those patterns. Every family has habits that teach what matters most. Some homes are shaped around achievement, meaning the most important things are success, performance, or grades. Other homes are shaped around comfort, meaning the most important thing is ease, entertainment, or avoiding anything difficult. Some are shaped around sports, reputation, busyness, or control. The point is that every home screams, “This is what is important,” and thereby says, “This is what you should worship.”  

This is why family worship is so important. It is one ordinary way a Christian family says, again and again, “The Lord is at the center here.” Not perfectly, but always saying God is of supreme worth.

We need to be careful because family worship does not mean that every other activity is wrong. But good things become dangerous when they take the place of ultimate things. A child does not merely learn what his parents believe by hearing them on Sunday. He learns what they believe by watching what they make time for on Monday. If Scripture is never opened in the home, children notice. If prayer is only something that happens at church or before meals, children pay attention. If God is rarely mentioned in ordinary conversation, children pick up on those cues. If every other commitment is protected but spiritual rhythms are optional, children notice. Children don’t require flawless parents, but rather honest, dependable, and faithful ones who demonstrate that Christianity is a daily reality. 

One of the clearest biblical foundations for family discipleship comes from Deuteronomy 6. After declaring, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one,” Moses commands God’s people to love the Lord with all their heart, soul, and might. Then he says: “You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.”

Notice where the instruction happens: It happens when you sit in your house, when you walk by the way, when you lie down, and it happens when you rise. In other words, the Word of God was never meant to be confined to formal religious settings or to sit-down-and-listen-only settings. It was always intended to fill the ordinary spaces of life. The home was to be a place where the knowledge of God was spoken, repeated, and loved.

Here is a big point that we need to consider, this does not replace the gathered worship of God’s people. The church always remains essential. Your kids need to be excited about the preaching of the Word and the Lord’s Supper as essential to life. Pastors, teachers, and the gathered body of Christ are gifts from God that your kids need to see as just that, gifts. But the church’s ministry was never designed to replace the home’s spiritual responsibility. 

This is where many Christian families have drifted. We have come to believe that if our children are present at church, involved in programs, and generally surrounded by Christian influences, then they are being discipled. But listen, discipleship is not merely exposure; it is formation. So what is formation if not truth pressed into the heart over time.

Psalm 78 gives us the same vision. The psalmist says that one generation is to tell the next generation “the glorious deeds of the LORD, and his might, and the wonders that he has done.” Why? So that the next generation “should set their hope in God and not forget the works of God, but keep his commandments.” That is the goal. Not merely informed children, but children who set their hope in God.

Read, Pray, Sing

So what does family worship actually involve? At its simplest, it includes three basic movements: read, pray, and sing. 

First, read Scripture, and again, this does not need to be complicated. You do not need to prepare a forty-minute lesson or explain every historical detail. Those things can be helpful at times, but they are not the essence of family worship. Instead, trust that as we open the Bible and read together, the Spirit is forming.

Make it a priority to read a Psalm, a paragraph from one of the Gospels, a selection from Genesis, Mark, or Proverbs, or a section from Ephesians. Your goal is to ensure that the Word is present in your home: after reading, ask a couple of simple questions: 

  1. What does this teach us about God and His ways?
  2. What does this show us about ourselves—our need, sin, faith, or calling?
  3. What promise, warning, or command should we receive?
  4. How does this point us to Christ and lead us to pray?

The goal is not to make every question profound. In fact, simple questions are often better. The goal is to simply listen to God.

Second, you must pray. Again, keep it simple by praying in response to what you read. Thank God for what He has shown about Himself, confess sin as the passage exposes it, and above all else, ask for help. Teach them to pray for your church, missionaries, suffering friends, and the lost. Children learn to pray by hearing prayer. So they learn by hearing that weakness can be brought to God, or that thanksgiving is appropriate. They learn that confession is normal and that needs should be brought to the Father. A brief, sincere prayer may shape a child more than we realize.

Third, singing or praising is a key part of family worship. For some families, this may feel natural or awkward, and that is okay. You can sing a hymn, a chorus, the doxology, a psalm, or a simple song your children know. Do not forget you  can use YouTube if that helps. You can read a hymn aloud if singing feels too difficult at first. The point is not musical excellence. The point is that God is worthy of praise in the home. If singing truly feels impossible in your family at the beginning, start with Scripture and prayer. Do not let the part you cannot yet do keep you from doing what you can. Over time, you may find that praise begins to feel more normal.

So read. Pray. Sing and allow this simple pattern to serve your home for generations. Not because it is flashy, but because it is faithful.

What Family Worship Is Not

It may also help to say what family worship is not, so here are a few things: 

Family worship is not a replacement for church. A family that worships at home still needs the gathered people of God. The father is not the pastor of a private church. Family worship should deepen our love for the church, not detach us from it. A healthy home rhythm should make children more prepared to hear the Word preached, sing with the saints, confess sin, receive the ordinances, and live under the care of the body.

As we said before, family worship is also not a guarantee. Some parents may secretly believe, “If I do this consistently, my children will definitely become Christians.” But that is not a promise God has given. Faithful parenting is not like a vending machine, and we do not insert family worship and receive conversion as the guaranteed product. But godly rhythms matter deeply, and only the Spirit gives life. Family worship is not a means of control. It is an act of obedience and dependence.

Family worship is also not a stage for parental expertise. This means that fathers, who hesitate because they do not feel like theologians, or mothers, who hesitate because they fear they will not explain things correctly, are in error. Understand that your children do not need you to pretend. It is okay to say, “I do not know, but let’s  find out.” In fact, there is something powerful about children seeing their parents humbly submit to the Word rather than confidently perform above it.

Finally, family worship is also not meant to be long. Sometimes we fail because we try to start too big. We imagine thirty minutes every night with perfectly attentive children. Then, when reality strikes, we quit. But five faithful minutes are better than thirty imaginary ones. A short gathering that actually happens is better than an ideal plan that never does. So start small, and keep it simple. 

The great need in many Christian homes is not a more impressive plan, but a recovered center. Christ must not be treated as a guest who occasionally visits our family schedule. He is the Lord and therefore is daily bread. Prayer is not a religious formality; it is the breath of dependence. Praise does not belong only in the church building; it is the fitting response of all of God’s redeemed people. Family worship is one simple way of saying, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord”—not perfectly, not impressively, not without weakness, but truly.

Perhaps that is where many of us need to begin: not with a grand plan, but with repentance and renewed simplicity. “Lord, we need to simply keep you at the center, which means we need to read, pray and sing, so help us, Lord, we plead.”

Caring Well: A Theology of Covenant Community in the Local Church

We live in an age marked by a few defining characteristics which make deep connections and community difficult, but are these cultural characteristics really excuses for the bride of Christ? Sure, we live in a time of amplified individualism, but a large part of the Christian faith is dying to self and living for Christ. Yes, there are shallow relationships, because of the online friends that replace the people we interact with in person, but believers are called not to neglect the gathering together of the saints. The local church is meant to stand as a radically different kind of community. We must not see it as a voluntary association built on shared interests, nor as a network of spiritual consumers gathering merely for an exchange of religious goods and services. Rather, we must begin to see the church as a covenantal body.  The New Testament often describes this shared covenant life with the word koinonia. This word describes a fellowship far deeper than casual friendliness or social connection. Biblical fellowship is a shared participation in the life, grace, and promises of Christ Himself. Because believers are united to Christ, they are also bound together in Him as one people. So, a covenantal body or the church, is a people bound together by Christ, committed to one another in love, and called to actively participate in one another’s spiritual formation and life.

In some churches, this covenantal reality is not assumed to exist; it is communicated through documents—such as a church covenant—and through some sort of public affirmation surrounding the two ordinances, which the Lord commands of his people. Through these the church offers clarification on what it means to belong and, more importantly, to care well for one another. These commitments of belonging and caring well move beyond vague notions of kindness and into the idea of embodied, accountable, and intentional love. 

To “care well” is not merely to feel affection toward others in the body; it is to take responsibility for their spiritual good in times of growth and struggle. It is to recognize that God has not only saved individuals but has placed them into a people, a covenant community, where growth in Christ is pursued together. Christianity is therefore not merely a private relationship with God but entrance into a covenant community. The gospel reconciles believers vertically to God and horizontally to one another. True koinonia means Christians increasingly share life together—encouraging, correcting, burden-bearing, praying, suffering, rejoicing, and persevering side by side. What follows in the rest of this article is an exploration of what caring well looks like when these covenantal commitments are taken seriously.

One of the clearest expectations placed upon members is the commitment to pursue ‘real and deep relationships.’ This immediately confronts the passive tendencies that often characterize church involvement. Caring well does not happen accidentally; it requires intentional pursuit. Yet, even this idea of intentional pursuit is often misunderstood. To pursue one another means initiating contact, moving toward others rather than waiting to be approached. Connecting and contact breed further connection and contact. This kind of intentional movement towards one another reflects the very pattern of the gospel itself. God moved toward His people in Christ, and now His people move toward one another in covenant fellowship.

Specifically, though, this intentional pursuit means asking meaningful questions while in person, seeking to understand not just surface-level circumstances but the deeper realities of a person’s life and their walk with the Lord. It requires consistency in following up, remembering details, and demonstrating that people are not projects but brothers and sisters. This kind of pursuit reflects the very heart of God, who pursues His people. In a covenant community, that divine pursuit is mirrored in human relationships. Members are not spectators who watch each other from a distance, but participants in one another’s lives. Biblical koinonia refuses to let believers remain anonymous spectators. Fellowship in the New Testament is participatory by nature. Christians are called not merely to attend services together, but to increasingly share their lives together under the lordship of Christ. Without this pursuit, care remains abstract. With it, the church becomes a place where people are truly known. Now, this does not require a deep relationship with all, but a willingness and preparedness to engage with whoever is grieving, struggling, or thriving. The point is not to sit back and wait for connectedness, but to pursue it on your own with all whom we are in covenant with, but specifically at your local church. 

One of the church documents that communicates how we “care well” is the  church covenant, which explicitly calls members to open their homes and their lives. This is an important concept because it moves care from structured settings into the rhythms of everyday living. While programs and gatherings are valuable, they are insufficient on their own to cultivate a deep sense of community. Opening one’s home is not merely about hospitality in the formal sense; it is about accessibility. It is allowing others to see how one lives, how one struggles, and how one trusts the Lord in ordinary moments. Around tables, in living rooms, and through shared experiences, relationships often deepen, and trust is built. This level of shared life also dismantles barriers by bringing together individuals from different stages of life, backgrounds, and experiences, creating a space where the unity of the Spirit is visibly displayed. In such an environment, care becomes natural rather than forced, as people are woven into the fabric of one another’s lives.

Encouragement and admonishment are a central aspect of caring well. The covenant calls members to build one another up, recognizing that words have the power to either strengthen or weaken the body. To encourage someone is more than offering generic affirmation; it is to speak truth that points others toward Christ. It involves recognizing evidence of grace, reminding one another of God’s promises, and offering perspective in moments of discouragement. This kind of speech requires attentiveness and tactfulness. One cannot encourage well without first listening well. It also requires intentionality, as encouragement rarely happens by accident. Whether through conversations, messages, or written notes, speaking life into one another is a vital expression of care.

To admonish, however, is to faithfully and lovingly speak truth that corrects, redirects, and calls a brother or sister back into alignment with Christ. It is not harsh or reactionary, but patient and purposeful, as it aims to restore a person. Admonishment requires humility, courage, and deep love, for it steps into difficult spaces for the sake of another’s growth in holiness. Done rightly, it is grounded in Scripture, marked by gentleness, and carried out in relationship, always seeking repentance, renewal, and ultimately the joy of walking in obedience to the Lord.

Perhaps one of the most tangible expressions of care is the willingness to carry one another’s burdens. This includes both emotional and practical dimensions: meaning that weeping with those who weep and rejoicing with those who rejoice requires being present. We are called to enter into the experiences of others, not from a distance but up close. In times of suffering, this may involve offering meals, providing childcare, visiting hospitals, or simply sitting in silence beside someone who is grieving. In times of joy, it means celebrating without jealousy or indifference; rejoicing over a new baby, answered prayer, baptism, or spiritual growth in another believer’s life.

Bearing burdens also extends to prayer, but know it is not enough to simply promise to pray.  Caring well involves actually interceding for one another, bringing their needs before the Lord regularly and specifically. In these ways, the church becomes a place where no one walks alone. Burdens are shared, and through that sharing, the love of Christ is made visible. 

Many church covenants include a commitment to watch over one another and to admonish when necessary. This aspect of care is often neglected, yet it is essential for true spiritual growth. To care well is to be invested in the holiness of others. This means being willing to ask hard questions, to address sin with gentleness and humility, and to walk alongside one another in repentance. This commitment requires courage, as such conversations can be uncomfortable. Yet it also requires love, because the goal is always restoration, not condemnation.

Once there is the understanding that sanctification is not a solitary endeavor, mutual accountability within the church body forms. God uses the body of Christ as a means of grace, shaping individuals through the input and influence of others. When this is embraced, the church becomes a place where growth is actively pursued and supported.

Yet, we also need to firmly believe that any community can not function without forgiveness, and the covenant community of the church is no exception. The commitment to bear with one another necessarily implies that there will be offenses to endure. Caring well means refusing to harbor bitterness or to keep a record of wrongs. It involves extending forgiveness as one has been forgiven in Christ. This does not minimize sin but addresses it in a way that seeks reconciliation between parties.

Again, we see that caring well means moving towards people because forgiveness also requires purposeful initiative. It is not passive but active, moving toward others rather than waiting for them to come. In doing so, this care reflects the gospel, where God moved toward His people in grace. A forgiving community is a healthy community. It creates space for honesty, repentance, and restoration, all of which are essential for genuine care.

Faithful presence is another foundational aspect of care. Covenant membership calls members not to neglect gathering together, recognizing that regular participation in the life of the church is essential. Yet, caring well requires being present, not only physically but also relationally. It involves engaging in worship, listening to the Word, and participating in the ordinances. The ordinances themselves reinforce this covenant reality. Baptism publicly identifies believers with Christ and His people, while the Lord’s Supper continually renews and displays the church’s shared fellowship in Christ. It also means being available to others, creating opportunities for interaction and support.

Absence, whether physical or relational, limits one’s ability to care, but also makes one feel like they are not cared for.  Being present, on the other hand, creates the context in which care can take place both in giving and receiving. It allows relationships to develop and provides opportunities for ministry.

Caring well also includes financial generosity as another expression of care. The covenant calls members to contribute to the needs of the church, the relief of the poor, and the spread of the gospel. This generosity reflects a shift in perspective on what matters most. Resources are no longer viewed as personal possessions to be guarded but as gifts to be stewarded for the good of others. Through giving, members participate in meeting needs, supporting ministry, and advancing the mission. This aspect of care is often unseen but deeply impactful. It enables the church to function and extend its reach, both locally and globally.

The church’s commitment to walk alongside new members toward maturity highlights the ongoing nature of care to those in the church. It is not limited to moments of crisis but extends throughout the Christian life. To care well is to be invested in the long-term growth of others. It involves teaching, modeling, encouraging, and correcting over time. It recognizes that maturity is a process and that God uses relationships as a means to bring it about. When a local church gains this perspective, it will completely transform how members view one another. They are not simply co-attenders but fellow pilgrims, journeying together toward Christlikeness.

However, this Christ-likeness is not the only goal; caring well also entails a shared commitment to the church’s mission. Members are not only called to care for one another but also to work together to reach others with the gospel. This outward focus prevents the church from becoming inwardly focused or self-serving. It reminds members that the care they experience is meant to overflow to others. As they labor together in mission, their unity is strengthened, and their love is displayed to each other and the watching world.

To care well in the local church is to embrace a covenantal vision of community—one that is intentional, sacrificial, and deeply rooted in the gospel. It is to recognize that God has called His people not only to Himself but also to one another. This kind of care does not happen naturally; it requires commitment, initiative, and the Spirit. Yet it is precisely this commitment that sets the church apart. In a world longing for authentic community, the church has the opportunity to display something profoundly different: a people who love one another not out of convenience but out of covenant.

Such care reflects the love of Christ, who entered into our lives, bore our burdens, spoke truth to us, forgave us, and continues to walk with us toward maturity. As the church embodies this love, it becomes a living testimony to the power of the gospel—a community where care is not merely spoken of but lived out in tangible and transformative ways.

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The Forgotten Center Of Christian Families: Why Family Worship Has Disappeared and Why It Matters Now

There are moments in a pastor’s life when truth doesn’t come from a commentary, a conference, or a counseling session, but from across the dinner table. This series began from one of those moments. Not long ago, I read through my daughter’s senior thesis,“Family Worship Is a Biblical Necessity for the Christian Home.” I expected to be encouraged; I did not expect to be confronted. As I read, I realized something unsettling: she was not uncovering something new, she was uncovering something we (I) have forgotten. Something that had once been obvious to the church, assumed in the home, and practiced with regularity. It was something so central that men like Jonathan Edwards would speak of it in their final words to the church he was leaving, and reformers, like Martin Luther, would consider it essential to their calling. And yet, if we are honest, it is largely absent from many homes, not denied or debated, just…missing. She helped me see that the issue is not merely theological; it is practical, cultural, and deeply personal. We have not argued our way out of family worship; we have drifted away from it, and that is what makes it dangerous.

Most Christian families today would affirm that discipleship matters. They would say they want their children to know the Lord, love His Word, and walk in His ways. Yet when you examine the rhythms of their home, something else has taken center stage. Discipleship, for many, has slowly become something we have outsourced to programs we attend. And this makes it easier for us because we can add them to our schedules.  Really, activities have become dominant; as activities multiply, screens fill the silence, and discipleship, if it happens at all, is lost in the shuffle.

There was a statistic in my daughter’s paper that stopped me in my tracks: fewer than one-twentieth of Christian households regularly worship God together outside of church. Think about that. That means in a room of twenty Christian families, maybe one is consistently gathering to read Scripture, pray, and worship together in the home. This is not a small drift. This is a structural collapse that will have ripple effects for generations.

And yet, here is the part that scares me more: most families do not feel the weight of this hole. Why? Because something has stepped in to fill the gap. Here is my best guess as to why this hole in Christian families is unseen and, more importantly, unfelt: we have subtly redefined spiritual formation to mean attending church regularly, participating in programs, and being generally “moral” or “involved.” But this is where we must remember Scripture never places the primary burden of discipleship on programs or institutions. It places it squarely on the home, not as a replacement for the church, but as the foundation that supports it.

If we are honest, many parents today feel deeply responsible for their children’s education, athletics, social development, and opportunities. They give time, energy, and intentionality to shaping those areas of life, often at great personal cost. But far fewer feel that same weight when it comes to their children’s souls being deeply nourished in God and His truths. This surely is not because they don’t care, but because they assume someone else is handling it.

The church will teach them. The youth group will engage them. The Christian school will shape them. And while all of those can be real blessings, none of them were ever meant to replace what happens in the home. They are meant to support it, reinforce it, and build upon it, but never be a substitute for it.

The result of this shift away from family worship is subtle but significant. Children grow up with what is often called a secondhand faith; a faith they have observed but not truly owned. It is a faith they have seen on Sundays, heard only in passing, or borrowed from their parents’ convictions, but one that has never been deeply worked into their own hearts. They know the language, they recognize the rhythms, and they may even affirm the truths, but it still remains external.  And what is not internalized rarely endures.

Alongside this, they often develop a fragmented understanding of Scripture. Instead of seeing the Bible as a unified, unfolding story of God’s redemption, they encounter it in isolated pieces; stories here, lessons there, disconnected moments that never quite form a coherent whole. Without regular, intentional exposure in the home, Scripture can feel like a collection of moral examples rather than the living Word that shapes all of life. And over time, this leads to a weak connection between daily life and God’s presence. Faith becomes something associated with places and events, like church services, youth gatherings, special moments, rather than the steady, daily reality of walking with God. The scary thing about this is that the result is not always immediate rejection, but quiet distance. God is not denied; He is simply not near. And when faith is not woven into the ordinary fabric of life, it often unravels when life becomes difficult, complex, or independent. And worst of all, eventually, when they leave the home, they often leave the faith, not because it was aggressively attacked, but because it was never deeply rooted in the first place.

One of the most penetrating insights from my daughter’s thesis is this: every family worships something. Not just religious families, every family. Some orient their lives around achievement, comfort, sports, success, or entertainment. Others center everything on stability, reputation, or simply the constant movement of busyness. But no home is neutral; every home is ultimately shaped around something it treats as most valuable.

The question, then, is not whether your family worships. The question is: what is at the center? Because whatever sits at the center of your family will inevitably shape your conversations, drive your decisions, and, do not miss this, form your children. Over time, that central reality—whether it is God or something else—will become the god your children carry with them into adulthood.

It would be easy to treat family worship as just another “good idea,” helpful, maybe, encouraging perhaps, but ultimately optional. However, Scripture does not give us that category. Throughout the Bible, the assumption is clear: God’s Word is to be taught diligently in the home, children are to be instructed in the ways of the Lord, and the knowledge of God is to be woven into the fabric of daily life.

This is not occasional; it is constant. Something will embody your home and therefore be practiced in your home. And when family worship and godly rhythms disappear, something else inevitably takes its place, not nothing, but something.

The greatest danger here is not open rebellion, but quiet neglect. Most families do not wake up one day and consciously decide, “We will not lead our children spiritually.” There is no formal rejection, no deliberate turning away. Instead, it sounds far more ordinary, even reasonable: “We’re just really busy right now.” “We’ll get to it when things slow down.” “We’re doing the best we can.” And in those small, seemingly harmless delays, something far more significant is happening beneath the surface.

Slowly, over time, patterns begin to form. Days pass without Scripture being opened together. Weeks pass without intentional prayer as a family. Months pass without meaningful, God-centered conversation. Nothing dramatic occurs, no crisis, and yet something essential is quietly disappearing. What once might have felt like a gap begins to feel normal, and what feels normal is rarely questioned.

But we cannot miss this point: what feels normal is not neutral; it is always deeply formative. Neglect does not leave a vacuum; it shapes, because the human heart, and the home for that matter, is never empty. When something central is removed or ignored, it is not as though nothing fills the space. Rather, the space demands to be filled. In the absence of intentional spiritual leadership, other voices, values, and priorities do not politely wait at the door, but they rush in and take up residence. What is not formed by truth will be formed by something else.

If Scripture is not regularly opened, other narratives will disciple your children. If prayer is not modeled, self-reliance will quietly become the default. If God is not made central in the rhythms of the home, something else will become ultimate, and often without anyone explicitly choosing it. The vacuum is not neutral ground; it is contested ground, and it will always be claimed by something.

Over time, this means that what was neglected does not simply remain undeveloped because it will simply be replaced. The absence of intentional worship becomes the presence of functional idols. The lack of spiritual conversation gives way to the dominance of cultural assumptions. And what begins as a quiet omission becomes a powerful formation. In other words, if we do not actively shape the spiritual life of our homes, something else will most certainly.

Before we go further in this series, defining, defending, and building a theology of family worship, you need something simple and actionable. Not overwhelming, not complicated, just a place to begin.

First, take inventory of your home’s rhythm. Before you change anything, look honestly at what already exists. Ask yourself: what fills our evenings? What do we prioritize when time is limited? What do our children see us consistently value? You don’t need to guess what your family worships; your calendar already tells you. This step is not about guilt; it is about clarity, because you cannot re-center what you have not first examined.

Second, identify one time you can protect. Do not start with an ideal; instead, start with reality. Find one consistent moment, whether it is after dinner, before bed, early in the morning, or even just ten minutes in the evening, and protect it. Not perfectly, but intentionally. Family worship does not begin with a perfect system; it begins with a protected time that signals what truly matters.

Third, start talking about God again. Before you formalize anything, begin by bringing God back into the normal conversation of your home. Talk about what you are reading in Scripture, ask your children what they learned at church or heard in the sermon, pray briefly and naturally, and acknowledge God’s work in everyday moments. Family worship is not just an event—it is a culture, and culture begins with conversation.

Let me say this plainly, as both a pastor and a father: you do not need to be a theologian to lead your home. You do not need a seminary degree, perfect words, or a fully formed plan. What your children need is not perfection, but consistency. They do not need a polished lesson, but your presence together around the Word.  Above all else, they do not need a performance, but a visible dependence on God. They need to see their father open the Word, their parents pray, and their home oriented around something eternal.

This first article is meant to awaken us. In the coming articles, we will define what family worship actually is, see how Scripture commands and models it, learn from the church throughout history, address the real obstacles families face, and build a simple, sustainable way to begin. But before we do any of that, we need to feel this: something essential has been lost, and it is worth recovering.

The goal of this series is not to add another burden to your life, but to restore something that gives life to your home. Because when God is central, conversations deepen, relationships strengthen, and faith becomes tangible. The home is beginning to become what it was always meant to be: a place where God is known, where He is honored, and where the next generation learns to worship.

So let me simply say this: do not let this remain theoretical. Look at your home. Look at your rhythms. Look at what is forming your children. And begin to ask: what would it look like for God to be at the center again?

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Is God Still Working or Has He Left Us Behind?

As the first beam of light danced into the house on a warm June morning, I finished up breakfast and my grandparent’s house and looked forward to yet another day of summer vacation. This buck-toothed, elementary schooler sat looking out the huge window that stretched the length of the living room. I had already changed into my daily attire — basketball shorts, a t-shirt, and above all…wristbands (I wore them everywhere: to school, to the mall, to church, to funerals…). Funny enough, as I looked out the window at the basketball court, I knew my daily schedule and what to expect that day:

  • 9:00AM – Basketball
  • 10:00AM – Basketball
  • 11:00AM – Basketball
  • Noon – Lunch
  • 1:00PM – Basketball
  • 2:00PM – DuckTails, Talespin, Darkwing Duck 
  • 3:00PM – Basketball
  • 4:00PM – Super Nintendo
  • 5:00PM – Dinner

To be honest, I had a pretty predictable schedule that day. Or at least I thought so. As my mom walked into the room, and she must have noticed I was already dressed for basketball. She knew my intentions. Right around then, she uttered the most debilitating words I could think of: “David, before you go out and play basketball today, I want you to read for 1 hour!” I blinked. I thought to myself, “This must be a bad dream.” Reading? Reading is for school. Reading is for August through May. Reading isn’t for summer vacation. Not only reading, but reading for an hour? That’s 60 minutes more than I cared to read. The next hour was like being killed by paper cuts. Each minute dragged as if an anvil were attached to the minute hand as it struggled around the clock face. I stared at the words on the page, somehow knowing what each word meant but having no clue of the overall message of the book I held in my hand. Pure. Torture.

Me trying to read

You could say that I hated reading at that time in my life. Or maybe I didn’t hate reading itself — maybe I just hated what it kept me from (i.e. basketball). A lot of things have changed since then. I’m grateful those days are gone, as I’ve become an avid reader since. I’ve discovered the role of books in growing my mind, personality, and emotional health. Funny enough, now I have the inverse problem — instead of not wanting to read, I want to read all the time. And there are so many books — but how does one choose?

As I considered the number of books out there, I am reminded of the words of Thomas Brooks, a preacher in the 17th century. In weighing what books are important for someone to read, he made an overarching claim about what he considered two books every follower of Jesus should continually read and know with all their heart. Now, I’m sure you guessed one of them: the Bible. What might surprise you is the book he named second. He called this book, The Book of Providence. Now, some of you might read this and wonder, “Is that book still in print? I’ve never heard of it.” If you did not pick up on it, the clever Mr. Brooks is using a metaphor. When Brooks speaks of providence, he is referencing God’s care and order over the world, aligning every person, platypus, and particle just how he wants it in his grand design. In short, the God of the Bible is pictured as a grand conductor bringing exactly the symphony he wants out of the everyday circumstances of life. He is suggesting that as important as reading the Bible is, one must also learn to look at God’s providence in the everyday circumstances that surround us in light of what we read.

Providence Humbug

The pandemic and world uprisings of 2020 have certainly left their mark.

Maybe you hear the word providence and think it really doesn’t belong in times such as ours. Perhaps you think this idea that God controls all the details in our world has been cheapened by the events of the past 15 months, or even maybe the belief belonged to a time where people were more gullible. After all, we have seen countless die from COVID-19, hospitals filled to the brim, and unrivaled levels of political unrest in varying countries. One could easily come to the conclusion God has taken his fingers off of the pulse of this word. Or has He?

One thing you can say about the God of the Bible is that he loves to act in ways that people cannot see. In other words, he claims he providentially runs the world even when things are going south. Just look at what Jesus said in Matthew 24:

3 As he sat on the Mount of Olives, the disciples came to him privately, saying, “Tell us, when will these things be, and what will be the sign of your coming and of the end of the age?” 4 And Jesus answered them, “See that no one leads you astray. 5 For many will come in my name, saying, ‘I am the Christ,’ and they will lead many astray. 6 And you will hear of wars and rumors of wars. See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet. 7 For nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom, and there will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are but the beginning of the birth pains.

Notice some of the things Jesus lists here: wars, rumors, of war, famines, natural disasters. That’s some pretty heavy stuff happening there. These are all events that would lead human beings to naturally fear and assume God’s control must be wavering. Yet, did you notice Jesus’s response? “See that you are not alarmed, for this must take place, but the end is not yet…all these are but the beginning of the birth pains.” Let’s just note how absurd that sounds to human ears at first. If you look at all the ways human beings believe God should function, this blows them all out of the water. Jesus is reminding his disciples (and those who come after them) to maintain their confidence and walk with him even amid societal and economical chaos. It’s like Jesus does not even flinch. His underlying assumption? If He created the world, He certainly has no problem sustaining it (and human beings) on a day-to-day level.

That leads us to our next question: if He rules and reigns over the world, what gives with the last year and the absolute chaos that has come from the coronavirus? You’re telling me God ordained such a thing? According to Jesus, yes He did. But why? 


Continuing with the music analogy, a friend and I have recently been writing and recording songs. It has been one of the most fun experiences I can remember as we bounce ideas and lines back and forth off one another. Now, I’m a little more experienced than her musically, so what happens is she often comes up with the song ideas and is really influential in the lyrical side of things. I, however, produce and write the musical parts. These include what instruments play and especially what harmonies are sung. What would shock people about writing harmonies is that they always don’t sound beautiful. In fact, if you sang four pitches together from any pop-song harmony and that’s all you sang, you’d probably cringe. It creates tension and dissonance in your ear. As I was teaching my friend how to write harmonies, I showed her how you look for the emotional part of each phrase to throw one of these harmonies in there, and then immediately release it. The result? Four notes that might sound hideous songs together, if immediately resolved to different notes, can sound beautiful and drive the emotions of someone listening to a song. That’s what tension in music does — it plays on your emotions. If there was ever a part of a country song that felt like it reached deep in your soul, I would almost guarantee you’ll find one of these harmonies. In many ways, you can see the parallel between dissonance in music and the way Jesus Christ brings dissonance through tragedy and change in our world. An isolated event that might seem heinous, when woven into his grand plan, can function in a way to bring growth and thriving to his people. John Calvin, a famous theologian from times past, put it like this: God can draw beautifully straight lines with crooked sticks. 

So where to does this lead us? Is there any consolation we can have regarding the past year? Are there things we know God is doing to give us better confidence in these times? Yes. I think through God’s Word, we see three specific ways God has guaranteed to move that can give us confidence during these times.

Our Sanctification

When you hang around younger people as much as I do, you are not surprised to hear the same questions over and over again. One of the questions I get the most is, “What does God will for my life?” I think most reading this article can understand the heart behind such a question. Scanning the pages of Scripture, we never see a book that details “God’s Plan for (Your Name)’s Life,” as if God were giving us this ultra-defined instruction manual for how our life should go. However, to think the Bible cares nothing about the issue might be a little short-sighted. We actually get insight into God’s will for our life in 1 Thessalonians 4:

Finally, then, brothers, we ask and urge you in the Lord Jesus, that as you received from us how you ought to walk and to please God, just as you are doing, that you do so more and more. 2 For you know what instructions we gave you through the Lord Jesus. 3 For this is the will of God, your _________…

Oh, snap! If you just read that right, Paul is about to give God’s plan for the Christian. He says, “For this is the will of God…” I’m listening. What is the will of God?

3 For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; 4 that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, 5 not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; 6 that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. 7 For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness.

Sanctification. He lays out what this looks like: sexual integrity, self-control, caring for your neighbor, amongst other things. This is not just avoiding bad things, it is spreading goodness and kindness to the world around us. Are you disappointed? Were you hoping for something, you know, a little more…useful? 

I think there is some inherent beauty in this statement for two reasons. Firstly, while most of us long for God to answer a particular request so that we can continue “in our path,” Paul reveals how God seeks to give us something better than that longing. God does not always care so much about giving us step-by-step directions as he cares about making us into a particular kind of people. What kind of people are these, you ask? The kind of people who will be equipped to thrive, flourish, and spread His steadfast love and gospel message to our fallen world, regardless of what we face. While we want God to equip us for a situation, He instead equips us for a lifetime. Secondly, Paul’s words show us that whatever circumstance we find ourselves in (poverty, sickness, cancer, persecutions, broken relationships), God is still able to bring this about in our lives. 

How can we relate this to our current context? Obviously, some of us have lost jobs or a huge chunk of our income (that is my situation). Okay. Christ is still working for our sanctification. He is still equipping us to flourish even amid poverty. Amen. Some of us have lost loved ones. The touch of death has been a cold one, perhaps too familiar to some of us. Yet, Christ is still working for our sanctification, knowing that if we are in Him, we too will conquer the grave as He conquered the grave, never to die again. Through this pandemic, we see that God has not stopped running the world. He is showing us that moth and rust really do destroy, that the breath of our loved ones really does fade, that this world is not our home, and any attempt to lay down permanent roots is frivolous because it would be like painting and decorating your hotel room when you’re only there for the night.

To be continued

mark

Marked by Fear: COVID-19 and Mainstream Christianity’s Grappling with the End Times

Artwork by Aidan Rodriguez (2020)

Memories are precious things to me. Maybe you understand if you are the sentimental type as well. I remember one distinct time in college where a friend gave me a thank you note written on a napkin. Yep…still got it. Chances are if you’ve ever given me a note or a card, your message is sitting neatly in one of my memory boxes out there. All this to say – if a person gives me something, I likely will hold onto it for a while. This is even more true if someone gives me a piece of artwork. A few days ago, a friend of mine gave me the choice between two pieces of artwork he had drawn. He had decided to paint a portrait of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Knowing I was a huge fan and that I grew up watching it, he thoughtfully offered up a piece of artwork that I know took him a long time to create. From the moment he showed me, I was blown away! I loved this show growing up, and I could not believe he was thoughtful enough to give me that gift. 

Artwork by Aidan Rodriguez (2020)

As I brought the piece of artwork home, I scanned it in greater detail. Sure enough, the artwork had the patented New York City moon in the background with Donatello, Leonardo, Raphael, and Michelangelo flexing in front of it. However, as I zoomed in, I noticed a little mark that you find on almost all pieces of artwork – the initials “AR” and the year 2020. Go ahead and look around your house – no matter what artwork you own, it will almost always have a distinguishing mark somewhere on the canvas. Have you ever wondered how ingenious a practice that is? No matter where a piece of artwork goes, it will never go unidentified. There in plain sight is a mark of ownership. That painting or drawing belonged to someone and was created by someone – even if it has now passed hands through the years. As long as it hangs on my wall, it will always I will never be able to escape that mark – whenever I see it, I will remember exactly who gave it to me and when I received it.

However, as I have contemplated the piece of artwork now framed in my bedroom, a much different mark came to mind – a much more notorious mark. The week before my friend gave me this piece of art, I had just had multiple conversations with different people at my church and in my community about the fears they had amongst the COVID-19 situation. Their specific fear? That the worldwide pandemic would usher in the end times and result in a time of great tribulation.  If you have been around evangelical churches at all, you probably know what I’m talking about – the dreaded mark of the beast from Revelation 13. A few of the people I spoke with specifically referenced the talk of a microchip given to people during the vaccinations. The more I speak with people, the more I am beginning to hear this kind of language. So is there anything to the claim?

 

The Mark of the Beast and It’s Checkered Past

For some, the mark of the beast is one of the worst parts of the end times. For others, you might be wondering, “What’s that?!?” Before we look at the mark and if there is any relation to our current pandemic, let’s back that thang up and look at where the idea comes from:

Then I saw another beast rising out of the earth. It had two horns like a lamb, and it spoke like a dragon. It exercises all the authority of the first beast in its presence and makes the earth and its inhabitants worship the first beast, whose mortal wound was healed. It performs great signs, even making fire come down from heaven to earth in front of people, and by the signs that it is allowed to work in the presence of the beast it deceives those who dwell on earth, telling them to make an image for the beast that was wounded by the sword and yet lived. And it was allowed to give breath to the image of the beast, so that the image of the beast might even speak and might cause those who would not worship the image of the beast to be slain. Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name. This calls for wisdom: let the one who has understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man, and his number is 666. (Revelation 13:11-18)

Above you will see a quote from the book of Revelation. If you are not familiar with a Bible, that is the very last book of the Bible. If you have never read it, it is the book of the Bible that most resembles what our culture would call a comic book or science fiction because of its vivid imagery. John, one of Jesus’ disciples, wrote the book of Revelation. It contains some of the most spectacular displays of visual imagery in all the Bible. In this part of the book, we read of the beast (some Satanic figure) who “causes all…to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark…” Now the tricky part about this passage (and the book of Revelation as a whole) is that it has been interpreted so many different ways over the years. The newest and most popular interpretation in the American Bible Belt is that this mark is some physical marking/technology (credit cards, microchips, tattoos, armband, bitcoin, etc.) that everyone will receive in the end times. The popularity of this view undoubtedly has to do with recent movies and the popularity in the 1990’s of the Left Behind series. Countless churches have broadcasted these movies to their members – from Teenagers all the way to Seniors. This is the understanding most evangelicals have regarding the mark of the beast, which vicariously leads to countless Facebook posts that give “proof” that the mark of the beast is on the horizon.

But hold your horses. Is that really what Revelation means by the mark of the beast? Firstly, let’s take a look and see if there are any legitimate reasons to see that in our present world. Secondly, and maybe even more importantly, let’ ask why is this such a fascination in mainstream Christian culture?

 

Revelation: The Book Where Everyone Gets a Mark

There are a couple glaring holes in the abundance of Facebook posts about the mark of the beast being the next microchip, cryptocurrency, or vaccine on the market. The first problem is that people often do not read the verse in its entirety. 

Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name.

Notice what John does here. He introduces the idea of a mark on the right hand or the forehead. After that, he mentions how this mark is necessary to buy and sell goods. But notice what comes next in the verse. He notes “the mark…[COMMA], that is, the name of the beast…” Commas are important. If you and your spouse are sitting on the couch together around 4:00PM, there’s a difference between you saying, “Hey, let’s make a little Italian, baby” and “Hey, let’s make a little Italian baby.” The comma in the passage above shows that John clarifies what this mark is: the mark is actually a name. 

The second and more dangerous problem is mainstream Christianity’s view misunderstands the book of Revelation as a whole. What do I mean? If you read the entire book, the beast isn’t the only one marking people. In fact, he’s not even the first to mark his people. The truth: every single person in Revelation has something on their foreheads. Let’s take a look at a couple examples:

Do not harm the earth or the sea or the trees, until we have sealed the servants of our God on their foreheads. (Revelation 7:3)

They were told not to harm the grass of the earth or any green plant or any tree, but only those people who do not have the seal of God on their foreheads. (Revelation 9:4)

Then I looked, and behold, on Mount Zion, stood the Lamb, and with him 144,000 who had his name and his Father’s name written on their foreheads. (Revelation 14:1)

They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. (Revelation 22:4)

The first interesting thing to note: look at the multiple places where this mark is referenced. With all the attention Revelation gives to God marking his people on their foreheads with his name, why the heck have we likely never heard about the above passages? Why do you hear debates on what physical mark of the beast and not the mark of God? It appears that the beast has written the name of his people on their foreheads to imitate God, who has written the name of his people on their foreheads. 

You will notice this kind of imitation happens throughout the book. Satan routinely tries to do the same things God does. The only problem? He sucks at it. He can’t quite do it because he’s not God. Let’s take a look at some of the ways he does it:

  • God is a Holy Trinity (Father, Son, Spirit) vs. Satan tries to make an unholy trinity (the false prophet, the beast, the devil)
  • God has a wife (19:6-10) vs. Satan, who has a prostitute (Revelation 17)
  • God marks his people with a seal on their foreheads (Revelation 14:1) vs. Satan, who marks his people on their foreheads (Revelation 13:11-18)
  • God is a 7 vs. Satan thinks he’s a 7, but he’s only a 6. In fact, he’ll only and forever be a 6 (666 – Revelation 13:3)
  • God has a Lamb who actually was slain, but truly comes back to life (Revelation 5:5-7) vs. Satan who has a dragon that appeared to be slain, but its wound is healed (Revelation 13:1-3)

Notice everything listed in the above section. Everything God does, Satan tries to imitate. Everything Satan does, God does better. The only problem is that each imitation is a cheap knock-off. I mean, which one is better – a wife or a prostitute? One is with you because she loves you and is committed to you. The other is with you because you pay her. One will remember your birthday, the other won’t care if you exist when she leaves your room. 

So what does this tell us about the mark in the book of Revelation? The mark (or seal) on the forehead is a mark of ownership and devotion. It’s a way of saying, “Who do you love and who do you belong to?” In other words, those who belong to God are marked by him or sealed by him. God’s people are devoted to Him despite any sufferings they might incur (which makes these passages extremely encouraging if you think about it). However, the beast has his people as well. Those who do not repent and throw themselves on the mercy of Christ, they do not have the mark of God on them. They have a much different mark. They are marked, even if they don’t realize they’re marked. What Revelation is doing is anticipating the great and final judgment, sorting out humanity into two sides: those who belong to Christ and those who do not.

Is the mark of the beast a literal marking or a piece of technology? Although popular opinion says yes, I would respectfully disagree. I don’t think it was going to be some microchip hidden in a vaccine, I don’t think it will be a credit card embedded in an arm, or really any other fanciful Facebook post. ‘Why?’ you might ask? Honestly, while the book of Revelation describes a literal second coming and a literal end of history, it does so in a way that often uses vivid metaphors to attempt to describe the indescribable. I do not think these are literal marks a person can see on the skin. Whenever Christ does come back, I don’t think humanity will be divided between those who have God’s literal tattoo on their forehead or Satan’s literal tattoo on their forehead/arm. 

 

What Can We Learn From This?

Perhaps yet a better question is to consider why these speculations exist and what it reveals about us as human beings. Why, when disasters happen or new technology is invented, does the human mind run to these? Let me make a couple observations, but before I do, please know I am not saying all these are true for every person reading this. Some of these observations will characterize this person, others will characterize that person.

  • Observation #1 – The craze over the mark of the beast demonstrates how movies have a huge impact on the way we understand the world
      • I could be wrong, but I have a hypothesis about the popularity of where this comes from in mainstream Christianity. I would wager the majority of this speculation finds its origin in the movies and media people have consumed. If you did not have the Left Behind series of the 1990s and the teaching that spawned from that series, I’m not sure this struggle would be as real as it is for some.
  • Observation #2 – The craze over the mark of the beast demonstrates how evangelicals have a void of deep and applicable teaching that will help us understand our Bibles
      • I think the fear of the mark of the beast is a culmination of an increasing trend in evangelical churches over the last 100 years. As I heard someone say the other day, “Evangelicals have two speeds when reading the Bible: 1) things necessary for salvation, and 2) not important.” Unfortunately, many churches have unofficially adopted this reasoning. When was the last time we heard deep and applicable teaching regarding the Lord’s Supper, the Atonement of Christ, how to read Leviticus, how Revelation relates to Exodus, etc? If our church is only teaching “Healthy Marriages,” “Good Finance,” “Right Character,” “Kindness,” – all of which are good things – then we can expect confusion when we open our Bibles. We have become a proverbial 30-year old taking spoonfuls of spiritual Gerber from devotionals and teachers who do not stretch and challenge us. You might have a church of 50, 500, or 5,000. But think about it: if 90% of us in each situation don’t enjoy, meditate, or read the Bible except on a shallow level, has that really gotten us anywhere? This is especially true about the book of Revelation. I think most of us unknowingly take what we’ve heard about Revelation in our right hand hand and news headlines in our left, matching them up to see the future. That kind of reading will never get us anywhere. You can even tell something is amiss, because instead of our reading leading us to confidence (which is one of the purposes of Revelation — to show that no matter what, God’s people will overcome because Christ will overcome), it leads many to anxiety.
  • Observation #3 – The craze over the mark of the beast demonstrates it’s natural for fallen human beings to fear
    • When some people fear the potential of the mark of the beast, I think it shows a
      Needless to say, I would not be looking forward to a punch in the mouth from Iron Mike
      Needless to say I would be moderately nervous about a punch from Iron Mike
      genuine fear. In this case, it is a fear of pain and suffering that is part of being a fallen human being. For example, I don’t want to get punched in the mouth by Mike Tyson. If I know I’m getting punched at 10:00AM tomorrow by Iron Mike, around 9:55AM I’m going to be a little nervous. I know he punches so hard that my lip will probably wrap around my face. In the same way, if a Christian knows suffering is coming, they do not necessarily look forward to it. They know it’s going to hurt. But their overwhelming trust will cause any anxiety to be overcome because they know any suffering is temporary and will be ultimately redeemed by Jesus Christ. However, that’s not the whole story. I think perhaps the biggest reason for the craze over the mark of the beast is…
  • Observation #4 – The craze over the mark of the beast demonstrates a hidden idol in the hearts of evangelicals: worldly comfort.
    • Out of all the observations, I think this one is the most widespread. It is more than the natural fear in observation #3. As evangelicals, especially in America, we struggle with the idol of comfort and riches more than we ever give ourselves credit for. I think one part of this mark of the beast passage really scares a lot of people: “Also it causes all, both small and great, both rich and poor, both free and slave, to be marked on the right hand or the forehead, so that no one can buy or sell unless he has the mark, that is, the name of the beast or the number of its name.” Undoubtedly in all this, there is probably a hidden affection for worldly comforts that many do not realize is there. But that is the great message of Revelation: first comes suffering, and that suffering is real. But for those who endure comes a greater pleasure and treasure than we could ever imagine. Behind many of our Facebook posts is a desire to have our cake in this life and the next. Many of us “trust” the Lord, but you know what we also trust? Our mutual funds. Our pension. Our nice car. Our ideas for a future. Security is not a bad thing. We are creatures who long for security and hunt for it for it everywhere. The only problem comes when we seek security from a life that is so fragile. That’s like trying to build a bridge out of toothpicks. It might be possible, but a great collapse will come when you walk on it. And yet we have a gracious God who calls us to abandon these false idols that will only ever let us down on the day we really need them.

Revelation helps us pull back the curtain of this life to show us what is really at stake. It shows us how suicidal it is to live our lives for the present when we know how things will end. The whole point of the mark of the beast is actually to give Christians comfort. They will not receive some “accidental marking” by getting a microchip only to find out tomorrow, “Oh no! It’s the mark of the beast!” No. The point of the mark of the beast is to highlight God’s marking his people. If he has saved us, he will hold us to the very end. That holding might come by rescuing us from hidden idols like worldly comfort, but it also might come by holding us through oppression because the world knows who we belong to. Either way, our Savior will come and we will be rescued.

So is there any relation between our current COVID-19 crisis and the End Times in general? Of course there is! But in one sense it is just like every other natural disaster — hurricanes, tornadoes, financial crashes, plagues. All of these are anticipating a judgment to come. It’s funny that Christians were asking the same questions during plagues of the past. However, here’s what we do know: we are closer now to the second coming of Christ than we have ever been. If he does not come today, we will be closer tomorrow than we have ever been. If he waits and 1,000 years from now he has still not come, then 3020 will be closer yet to his coming. Until then, we wait and we do his work of loving and sharing the gospel — not with anxiety, but with confidence in our Lord and the mission he has given us until our death or his return.

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You Really Wanna Know Me? Good Questions to Ask Others In An Age of Secrecy

College was a special time for me. I still remember the day when my Dad dropped me off and drove away. It was a hard day for both of us, but especially for him. I had never lived on my own before and had very little clue about what life for the next few years held for me. In those years, I would find out much about myself, as well as how to function without the help of my parents. To be honest, those years were some of the best years of my life. Many friendships developed, and a few of them I keep track of today. One particular friendship near and dear to me was my college roommate. We were very close – like brothers from another mother. At one point, we had lived together for almost two years, sharing the same 15’x15’ dorm. 

I remember one night, we were both heading for bed and were brushing our teeth. Something came over me at the moment as I looked at him in the mirror with toothpaste running down my cheek – “are you going to take your contacts out?” He looks at me, slightly puzzled, and says with a smirk, “when do you ever remember me taking out or putting in contacts?” I thought about it for a second, and then said, “Well, I don’t.” In fact, there was no contact solution, contact case, or any sign of contacts that have ever been in our room. He didn’t wear glasses, and he never squinted in class. He had perfect vision. But for some reason, I had been convinced all along that he wore contacts.

It’s funny how well you think you know someone only to realize that there is so much you don’t know. In extreme cases, a person can think they know someone and be completely wrong about them in the first place. Lots of dating relationships have ended with one party screaming (or worse, texting🙁) the other party saying, “well now I know the real you!”

 

The Secret Life of Being Well Known

Knowing other people can be a tricky thing. But being well know can be even trickier. Living in 21st century America, it doesn’t take long to realize the paradox that exists in most of us. Seemingly all of us have a desire to be known. Think of the whole social media phenomenon. We have followers. We have groups. We have pictures of our meals. We have the selfies where we get to take pictures of ourselves in action. We are people who want people to know us. Yet, on the other hand, there is an aspect of our lives that human beings seem desperate to hide. We post the beautiful cake we made on Instagram, but not the three cakes we ruined in the process of making that one. We post our best pictures, not the ones that make it look like we have a double chin. We don’t post our fights and failures. We post the medals and success stories. That leads us to our present time – we’ve never been more well known while being radically unknown at the same time.

While our culture frantically looks for ways they can be known, yet live in secrecy, what if I told you the Christian life is radically different? I know, I know – there are many professed Christians out there who live isolated lives, not knowing others and settling for the hashtag life of the world around us. They emphasize their own walk with Jesus. But is that really the best life? Is that really how our lives were designed to be lived? 

 

All About Me, Or All About Them?

If you grew up within churches, especially if you are in the South, one of the phrases your ears have heard over and over again is a personal walk with Jesus. Growing up in this culture, one of the things I’ve noticed is the unsaid rule of not pushing in too closely to those in your church. Living in South Georgia, this culture and mindset are alive and well. “That’s between me and Jesus!” can often be the slogan.

But is it? Whatever “it” is – is “it” really just between you and Jesus?

Before moving on, I think it is important to look at the way most religions in the world work. Most religions function by emphasizing one of two things: 1) the individual believer, or, 2) the “congregation” as a whole. Let’s give two quick examples that show us the extremes of each of these:

  • New Ageism: As American as Apple Pie
    New Ageism (almost 100% individual) – New Ageism is one of those religions that has a particularly American flavor. Usually associated with meditation, harnessing the power of crystals, and feeling the spiritual life from within, this religion has found increasing popularity in American culture. This is mostly because New Ageism makes no claims on a lifestyle one should or should not live. To many, that seems as American as apple pie. It is a religion by your own rules. It allows a person to feel spiritual while not being tied to any moral standards. In the end, New Ageism, in some sense, is about the individual at the end of the day.
  • Roman Catholicism (almost 100% corporate) – While you might hear some of the same terms in Roman Catholicism that you hear in Christianity (“Jesus,” “God,” “salvation”), there are some things you will rarely (if ever) hear about in a Mass gathering. One of those is a personal relationship with Jesus. Why is that? Because Roman Catholicism, while referencing the individual believer now and again, is almost completely about the Roman Catholic Church. That is where the spotlight always shines. You need to go to the Church for salvation. You need to go to the Church for grace through the sacraments. Whether in life or death, you need the Church as a whole all of the time. Therefore, you cannot live a faithful life and find salvation apart from coming to Mass. Indeed, the Catholic Church, in some sense, is about the Catholic Church at the end of the day. 

Almost any religion you find will either venture off into one of these two extremes. Either it is all about the individual, or it is all about the congregation as a whole. But which of these does Christianity fall into?

Most evangelicals would probably think it falls into the first category – 100% individual. After all, don’t we need a personal relationship with Jesus? After all, that is what “gets us to heaven,” right?

Evangelicals going as fast as they can in the opposite direction, not seeing the pitfalls of it

One of the things I’ve noticed about evangelicals as a whole is we certainly can be extreme people. We emphasize certain aspects of our faith until blue in the face. For instance, we evangelicals know we aren’t Catholic. Catholicism is all about the Catholic Church. So what we do is peel out in the opposite direction and make it all about a personal relationship with Jesus. But where has that gotten us? I would have a tough time finding someone who thought Christianity in American is in a good place. We’re driving in the opposite direction as fast as we can, but the thing we might not realize is that we are driving that Chevy right off the cliff.

100% of Two Things 

This is where, as Christians, we must turn to the Bible for clues. Is Christianity almost 100% personal or 100% corporate? Let’s list a few verses

Individual

  • Mark 1:14-15 – Now after John was arrested, Jesus came into Galilee, proclaiming the gospel of God, and saying, “The time is fulfilled, and the kingdom of God is at hand; repent and believe in the gospel.”
  • Romans 10:13 – “For whoever calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”
  • Acts 2:37-38 – Now when they heard this they were cut to the heart, and said to Peter and the rest of the apostles, “Brothers, what shall we do?” And Peter said to them, “Repent and be baptized every one of you in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins, and you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.

If you believed Christianity was merely something individual, you would feel great about the above verses. These verses – all popular ones many grew up hearing – demonstrate for Christianity to be Christianity, there must be an emphasis on a personal relationship with God. Hence in the Mark passage above, Jesus’s call to the people to personally repent (i.e. “repent and believe in the gospel”). The same situation occurs in Romans 10, although significant baggage exists with these verses. Most Christians have heard Romans 10:13 in regards to the altar call – a borderline sacrament in Southern religion. However, this is not what Paul is talking about. He is not referring to an audible, one-time call at the end of a church service. Paul is referring to a life-long act of turning from sin and trusting in Christ. But notice, that call is personal. It is something the individual must do. Even the first sermon ever preached after Jesus rose from the dead had a personal aspect to it. The people who heard Peter preaching in Acts 2 asked, “what shall we do to be saved?” Notice what Peter said – he put repentance in the hands of each individual. He calls each one to “repent and be baptized.”

However, as we will see, that is not the whole story. For Christianity to truly be Christianity, it cannot be only personal. See how some of these verses break the mold of individualistic faith:

Corporate

  • 1 Corinthians 12:4-7 – Now there are varieties of gifts, but the same Spirit; and there are varieties of service, but the same Lord; and there are varieties of activities, but it is the same God who empowers them all in everyone. To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good.
  • Ephesians 4:1-3 – I, therefore, a prisoner for the Lord, urge you to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which you have been called, with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.
  • Galatians 6:1-2 – Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

In Paul’s letter to the Corinthians, he mentions how God has given each individual a spiritual gift if they have been born again. But notice what he says here in chapter 12 about the purpose of that gift; a person is to exercise that gift for the common good. Whatever spiritual gifts are, they are predominantly for other people. That is far from a Jesus-and-me view of the faith.

Still, yet more, the Galatians passage highlights an important role in the life of Christians – walking with one another through sins and struggles. Paul tells them that if anyone has been caught in a transgression (which is, ohhhh, everyone in their life as a Christian from time-to-time), it is the job of the members of the church to help them. They are to “bear one another’s burdens.” That is quite a job. That is one of the reasons God established his church here on earth: they are a community of believers who help one-another defeat the stranglehold sin has on their lives. This will be a controversial line, so I will clarify it after I say it: that means we can’t merely pray for others and trust God to overcome certain sins. Notice the fifth word in that phrase: merely. I’m not saying a person shouldn’t pray. I’m not saying a person should not trust God. I am saying that, when God gives us a primary tool for fighting sin (the local congregation), we can’t pretend like he didn’t give it and just start praying for deliverance as if that is the only thing we are to do. No way – pray…but do your other job, too! Get your hands dirty in their life, and pray for the humility to let others do the same in your own life in your fight with sin.

From what we saw above, Christianity must emphasize the individual, but it can never do so without simultaneously emphasizing the congregation. Christianity finds itself in an odd place when compared to man-made religions like Buddhism, Roman Catholicism, and Hinduism. It is both 100% individual and 100% corporate. In this sense, the Christian life must involve the individual and others for it to be uniquely Christian. If you de-emphasize one, you lose the essence of the faith. You might be wondering at this point: is this where we find ourselves in our current church culture? Evangelicals have emphasized the personal relationship with Jesus to such a point that we have been making out with a religion very different from Christianity. Her voice sounds like Christianity from afar (talking about Jesus, “breaking chains,” and connecting people to God) but in reality, it is more like New Ageism with Christianized lipstick. 

 

Questions, Questions, Questions…

Assuming most of those reading this article will struggle more with involving other church members in their lives, what can do about improving in that area? Maybe the real questions are as follows: 1) How can we allow ourselves to be known? 2) How can we know others? Let’s take a brief look at the first question, and then an elongated answer for the second question.

So how can I allow myself to be known? Whew! Isn’t that hard? There is something in us that just wants to hide at the idea of someone knowing parts of us that we would never want to reveal. Yet, that is part of the Christian life. There is unbelievable freedom in that. I think the only way for this to happen is for the gospel to absorb into the fibers of our lives. This is why we must read the Bible (again, not just devotionals about the Bible), meditate on the Bible, pray for a love for the Bible, pray throughout our day, and utterly build our life on the Savior. It must be a day-to-day thing. When this happens, the Christian begins to believe something they have already known. What is it? It’s the fact that, on the cross, Jesus said worse things about us and our sin than anyone else ever could. You might read that and think, how is that helpful David? Stay with me here: if the Father – who knew all the secrets of my heart, all the wicked things my hands have done, and all the wicked things I will act on tomorrow – looks on me and does not condemn me because of Jesus’s crosswork, I suddenly become a lot less concerned if others think I’m a freak because I struggle with ________ sin. There’s nothing new under the sun, and that includes the sins I fight. I’m not a freak, I am normal in the worst kind of way until Jesus returns. And so are you.

The second question, how can we know others? is a little more tricky. Yet, there is a particular answer: questions, questions, questions. Knowing others, in one sense, is all about questions. It’s about asking, not just questions, but the right kind of questions. Let me give some examples below, first of some not-so-good questions and then some questions that are examples of good questions:

 

Stinky Questions that Usually Lead to Nowhere

  • How are you?
  • What’s going on?
  • What’s new in your life?
  • How’s your week been going?
  • How’s your marriage?

There are two things you might notice about these questions. The first: these questions are the go-to questions of most churchgoers. If you walk into a church gathering on a given week, you will undoubtedly be asked one or all of these. The second thing you will notice about them: they can all be answered in one or two words. Let’s go down the potential answer for all five: Good. Not much. Same ‘ole. Good. Pretty good. Here lies the main problem with these questions – one can easily evade them or answer them in a shallow fashion just out of habit.

So if these questions don’t cut the mustard, which ones do? Let’s take a look at some examples:

 

Questions that Help You Minister to Others

  • Questions regarding your week
    • What was the worst part of your week? (Follow up question: And why’s that?)
    • What was the best part of your week? (Follow up question: And why’s that?)
  • Questions regarding relationships     
    • What has been the greatest struggle with your wife/husband?
    • How have you encouraged your spouse recently? (Follow up question: What’s something your spouse has done recently that has encouraged you?)
    • What’s been the hardest part about parenting _______ recently?
    • What specific ways have you seen your singleness as a gift recently?
    • What specific ways has your singleness been a struggle recently?
  • Questions about emotions
    • Where have you been tempted to doubt the Lord’s goodness or power recently?
    • What is something that has made your heart for the Lord leap recently?
  • Questions about their spiritual pulse
    • If you had to use three words to describe your alone time with the Lord in the past two weeks, what would those three words be?
    • What is one key thing the Lord has taught you through his Word during the last week?
    • What are some things you have been praying for recently and haven’t seen?
    • What are some things you have been praying for and you have seen the Lord grant?
    • Who was the last person you got to share the gospel with? (Follow up question: How did it go?)
    • What sins have you been struggling with the most this past week? (Follow up question: In what actions did you see them come out in your behavior?)
    • Where have you seen growth in your fight against sin recently?

What do you notice about some of these questions? Most importantly, you can’t answer them without thinking. This is where the job of you, the congregation member, becomes so important. Listen for clues as to how the person is doing. This will tip you off on how to pray for them, how to speak the promises of God to them, and ultimately how to continue to walk with them through the struggles of life. 

Caring for people in a truly Christian way is not something we are naturally good at. We often avoid the mess, afraid of what others will think of us if we begin to pry a little. But with the Lord’s help, he will use us in their lives just as he will one day use someone else in your life. Until then, arm yourself with these two things: good questions and a listening ear.

NETFLIX

Binge-Mode: How to Make the Most Of Our Time in Seasons of Forced Isolation

Have you ever noticed how selective our memories are? Some of the most impactful moments of our lives will not even show up as a blip on the radar. However, sometimes the most random occurrences are those you will never forget. To this day some of my clearest memories come from my elementary years. Of course, there is a lot of reasons to remember some of it. I was, after all, a Dream Lake Dragon. Our

My ballin’ elementary school mascot
© Dream Lake Elementary School (Apopka, FL)

classrooms were old airplane hangers from whenever the property functioned as an airport. Our playground was by far the coolest (and maybe least safe) playground I’ve ever seen in my life – a humongous pirate ship made out of monster truck tires and splintered wood, tire fortresses, and an abundance of rope swings. However, one memory sticks out from each year: day #180.

Any teacher will tell you about day #180. It’s also known as the last day of school. I remember anticipating the last bell as the whole class would count down from 10 seconds and sprint out the door. What did this newfound freedom mean for me? Well for the next 3 months, here’s what my schedule looked like most days:

  • 8:00AM-11:00AM – Basketball
  • 11:00AM-2:00PM – Video Games
  • 2:00PM-5:00PM – Hang out with friends
  • 5:00PM-7:00PM – Basketball
  • 7:00PM-9:00PM – TV and Video Games

Those were some productive days, right? I think everyone who has ever experienced a summer vacation knows what I’ m talking about. Usually, they are times of prolonged laziness where stay up way too late and get up even later. Looking back on it, those summers were an odd time of life.

What might be even odder is the current period in which we all live. Not in the last 100 years has society all over the world come to a grinding halt in so many ways. Many parents find themselves at home not working. Many kids just got the word that school has officially been canceled in their area for the rest of the year. It is like all of us have entered this summer vacation-like dream, and still worse, none of us knows when it will end.

But that leaves us with a question: for those of us who are in this time period of life right now, what can we do? Or maybe you are a parent during this season – what can you have your kids do? Go to the park? Forget that – it’s closed. Vacation – yeah, I’ve heard cruises are just awesome right now. They have a few “Buy 4 nights/get 86 nights free” packages, allowing you to float endlessly around the Caribbean.

I think if many of us are honest, times like our present ones bring out the worst in us. If we look at our unofficial daily agenda, it looks something like this:

Facebook – check. Instagram – check. Pinterest – check. TV – Check. Facebook again – check. And again – check. And again – check. Wind down with some TV – check. Sleep.

Maybe I’m in a boat by myself, but when I see that, I don’t want my life to look to consist of just that. I’m sure many people would agree with me on that. If you take a look at most of our wasted days, I don’t think it’s because we want them to be consumed with TV and social media. However, the days kind of just happen! But that leaves us with a question –

In this time of prolonged waiting, what can we do to redeem the extra time the Lord has given us?

 

Before How, Who?

Before we get into things we can do, someone might certainly say, “David, c’mon! Nothing is wrong with Facebook, Instagram, Pinterest or TV. Do you know what I would say? “You’re totally right!” But, that does not really settle anything– there are other questions that need to be asked. One of those questions is “who are we made to be?”

God has spread all kinds of hidden gems all over his creation for us to discover and use in creativity.

If you look at the beginning of Genesis, you’ll notice in chapter 1 that God creates human beings and gives them a distinct task. “Be fruitful and multiple, and fill the earth” (Genesis 1:28a). Most of us have heard that part. But then he continues, “…fill the earth and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” In the original purpose for mankind, they were to rule over the earth as under-rulers: ruling over the earth while God rules over them. They were to extend God’s glory throughout the whole earth, harnessing all the creative potential in our universe to develop culture and technology. This is why God is not surprised that we have cell phones. God created electromagnetic fields, knowing one day we would discover how to hone their potential into something beautiful. It’s as if God has created this world as a technological Easter Egg hunt – humans walk around and find little nuggets of creative resources God put there in creation. They then use these to build products and culture. God designed that way knowing we would grow in our abilities and understandings of how to use this world for the most good and for His glory.

However, as we all know the Bible continues. We later read about how humanity sins against this God and inverts the created order. Instead of living as under-rulers with God being their head, they seek to define good and evil themselves and in the process fall from grace. The result? Now the creation is under a curse until Jesus Christ returns one day and sets the universe right again. But until then? Genesis 3:17-19 details how creation will not fight back against humanity. Now instead of exercising dominion over creation, we make ourselves servants of the creation. Talk about an upside-down universe! 

Here’s how this impacts you and I  – we live in a world that has many good things in it. However, we must fight back so that these good things do not rule over us. In other words, we will be tempted to destroy and waste our lives with good things. How might this happen? Easily. You take something good like Netflix or Facebook. Those are fantastic technologies that can provide great entertainment. However, if you are watching hours of those a day and not using the creativity God has given you, there is something that has drastically gone wrong. These good things, added up over the course of time, can zap years from your life. The New York Post did a recent study in December of 2019 and concluded the average American will spend 8.9 years of their life watching TV. 8.9 years! Again, there’s nothing wrong about watching television or surfing Facebook, but the big question remains: “are these things exercising dominion over you instead of you exercising dominion over them?”

With this in mind, I think the Bible would call us to be intentional how we spend our time. Watch TV – and have a blast doing it – but do so setting guards over yourself. I would suggest limiting your time to a certain amount of minutes per day. Same goes for other entertainment like Facebook and Pinterest. Build-in other activities into your schedule. What other activities you might say? That leads us to our next two thoughts: activities that have us spending time directly with the Lord and activities that foster our creativity as human beings.

 

How We Relate to God Directly

  • Set Aside a Time to Hear – The very best habit you can develop in your life is the daily routine of reading the Bible. Notice what I did not say. I did not say listening to your favorite Bible teacher. Notice I did not say reading a devotional. Not that any of these are bad, they are not the same as personal study and neither one will teach you how to read the Bible like reading it yourself. Just you, the Bible, and a pen in your hand. Try to read through books over the Bible over the course of a couple weeks or months, doing so a few verses at a time. But why would we do this? In an age that so desperately wants a “fresh word from God,” it’s ironic because God has already spoken. Maturity in Christ cannot be gained apart from the frequent study of His Word. It’s impossible. Sure, you might grow in some Bible facts here and there, but they will never be applied to your life. Maybe you or someone you know struggles with reading? Someone in my family did as well, but they now use an audio Bible. Set the Bible to slow and have it read to you, pause it, take notes, then resume. Don’t know where to begin this? Let me give you my format for your own reference: I get a composition notebook and a pen. I write down the date, then ask the Lord to give me wisdom in reading His Word and to open my mind. From there, I start reading, usually a couple verses at a time. From there, I start writing down what I see. I start asking myself questions, writing them down as I go and try my best to answer them. I usually do this anywhere between 20 minutes and 45 minutes. In the end, I ask big questions and try to answer them: 1) How does this text point to Jesus Christ? 2) What does this teach me about God? 3) What does this teach me about myself?
  • Set Aside Times to Speak– After you have finished your Bible study, you might want to take 5-10 minutes and speak to the Lord based on what you just read. However, that is not the only time during the day in which you can go to him. Try to schedule out multiple slots during the day to go to the Lord in prayer. Set a timer for 15-20 minutes if you have to and put your phone on silent in the other room. The normal routine I shoot for is this: 10-15 minutes of prayer in the morning after I study the Word. 20-30 minutes praying during the lunch hour. After that, I try to pray the Psalms between 15-20 minutes before I lay down at night. You might wonder what I mean by praying the Psalms. Take a look at some videos I’ve created to learn how to pray the Bible. It’s a habit I started years ago, and now I will never go back to any other way. I included a book on the subject as well just in case you would like to read it. 
  • Make Some Calls – One of the ways we relate to God is almost counter-intuitive: through his people! Christianity in its true form is impossible to live in isolation. Why? Because it requires you to both know others and be known yourself. The three ways God changes us into a people devoted to him are, 1) through His Word, 2) through prayer, and, 3) through your local church. That is how he designed it! With that being said, pick up your phone and try to intentionally make calls to people in your congregation. Check up on them, not just with the “how are you doing’s?” Rather, ask questions that require them to think about their answer so you can really hear how they are doing. “What has your mind be most anxious about during this time?” “What promises of God have been hard to believe during this time?” Pray with them over the phone. Download a membership directory from your church’s website and pray through your whole church once a week, taking a little time each day to do so.

 

How We Display Our Love for Him in How We Creation

One of the ways you can redeem this time is through skills and trades. While that first word might be familiar to most of you, the second word has lost some of its luster in recent years. A skill is something that you can do. For instance: reading, athletic ability, horseback riding, billiards, etc. Then what’s the difference between skills and trades? Trades are skills that you can do later for income. For instance, you can learn photography with the hope of one day having a side business where you photograph people’s weddings. Or you can learn computer programming with hopes of one day making a career out of it.

Try to find certain skills or trades you can improve on during this time. Don’t know where to start? Here is a list of some options all over the map, for the creative and nerd alike:

  • © Masterpieces, Artwork by S. Bleise
    Become a Graphic Artist on the Computer – Maybe you want to learn how to draw cool superheroes, create logos, design t-shirts, or make a whole career out it. Well, that is totally possible – for free! Inkscape is a great program you can download at no cost. Well, I shouldn’t say no cost – it does cost some hard work to get good at it. They have training videos on this same site, plus you can probably type in “Draw__________ Inkscape” on Youtube and get a ton of free tutorials. For example, imagine one of your little girls being able to draw a Unicorn fiesta!
  • Writing – Practice your writing. Start a blog or start writing a story. Pick up a book on how to write well and improve your writing. For those of you who like writing non-fiction and would like to work on your writing, take a look at this book. It’s about quoting and how to interact with other people’s arguments. Sounds boring right? But it was crazily-enough one of the most fun books I have ever read. Alright, enough of the nerdy stuff…
  • Do photoshoots for families, people who are typically impoverished and can’t afford them, and explore the world of light and color God created
    Photography – Have you ever thought it would be neat to capture memories in your family as well as possibly do get some spare money on the side? Find a camera and take a class on photography over the internet. You literally could become a master at this by the time June or July rolls around. Think about it: you would be able to help people in some extraordinary ways, able to give the gifts of memories to people for the rest of your life. One of my favorite websites for things like this is Udemy. They provide dirt cheap classes. If you wait around a week or two, they usually offer 90% off on all their classes, so never settle for paying full price. Right now you can find a photography class for $16. By the time you see this, it might have gone up. If so, just wait a week and look again. What if your picture hangs up in someone’s living room 80 years from now? Pretty cool, right?
  • Learn a Language – ¡Hola amigo! Pasa esas papas fritas. I know you might have passed high School Spanglish, but what would it be like to actually speak another language? What if you could go on one of the mission trips and actually speak to everyone in Spanish? Duolingo is a free resource you can download on your phone or use on your computer. Give it a shot! They have a ton of languages to choose from!
  • Baking – Maybe you love shows like The Great British Bake Off. Make it your goal to learn 3-5 supremely difficult things during this time. Maybe that will be a 15-layer cake or an epic cake design. Use your time to work on projects like this that can use to benefit and serve others after this pandemic ends. Also, you can gladly leave a slice of any project you are working on at my door. Please, someone, learn to make chameleon cakes! Is that not the coolest thing you’ve ever seen in your life? Ahghghhhhhhh!!!!
  • Computer Coding – Look at learning how to do basic websites with HTML and CSS. Then start moving to programs like Visual Basic, C#, and other cool programming languages. Christ has given us the ability to make computers – now we can learn how to use this technology in a way that exercises dominion over it. You can find sites for these all over the internet. This could be the foundation for you building websites or one day getting a job as a computer programmer. When most people think of that, it is they think of a rocket scientist. However, if you are somewhat familiar with computers, you can learn just easier than you think. If you can follow instructions and bake brownies, you can learn code. CodeAcademy.com has free scholarships for kids affected by COVID-19 right now, so maybe take advantage of that.
  • Music – Have you ever imagined what it would be like to be around a campfire and all the sudden be able to pull out a guitar? Think of the fun and warmness you could provide at that moment, giving people a memory they will never forget? Interested? Look around for a reputable teacher in your area. If you are in the South Georgia area, I have a small militia of guitar students who need practice teaching. For a fraction of the cost of normal music lessons, you could begin your journey and give some of my students an opportunity to teach! Contact me if you are interested! Other instruments you could learn: piano, digital audio workstations, harmonica (check out Udemy.com for this), and cajon.
  • Reading – Research shows that reading stimulates the brain infinitely more than reading on a laptop, smartphone, or watching TV shows. Maybe you haven’t read in a long time. Pick up a book that might help you in your walk with the Lord. Or maybe go on a journey in a work of fiction. Either way, use the brain the Lord has given you. Maybe you struggle with reading – what if during this time, you were able to correct to that? Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that’s not possible? I have a friend who has helped people who struggle in reading (kids and adults) learn to excel in it and love it! Contact me if you are interested. For those who are readers already, here are some of the good books I would recommend that I have read:
    • Prodigal God by Tim Keller
    • East of Eden by George Steinbeck
    • Praying the Bible by Donald Whitney
    • Crime and Punishment by Fyodor Dostoyevsky (harder read)
    • Desiring God by John Piper
    • To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee (great for kids)
    • Conscience: What It Is, How to Train It, and Loving Those Who Differ by Andrew Naselli
    • The Chronicles of Narnia or The Harry Potter series (if your conscience allows you in these area)

 

As the people of God, our risen Christ has re-made us to be many things – intentional and self-controlled are two of those things. We know both of those must be present in order for us to live fruitful lives that will glorify our king. With this possible prolonged season of isolation in front of us, may we prayerfully seek the Lord both in our activities with him and our activities that reflect him through creativity.

Hospital

Sick-of-Home or Sick-at-Home: COVID-19 and a Reminder of God’s Intentions for Your Suffering (Continued)

This is part two of a three-part series on God and our suffering.

 We are officially in the waiting period during the current COVID-19 crisis. The virus has impacted the world more than anyone would have ever anticipated. How long this crisis will continue is uncertain. Some are guessing weeks, others months, and still others over a year. While most of us in the United States are now accustomed to prolonged stays within our houses, I wanted to continue writing on the topic of suffering. “Why?” you might ask? Because I have found it is much easier to learn about suffering before you suffer. While many have greatly suffered during the current crisis, there are countless others whose lives have not been dramatically impacted yet. It is for these people I continue to write, not knowing whether an escalation of suffering is coming or if the current crisis will indeed end by mid-April or May.

As we pick up from the last blog post on suffering, we will continue in this post to look at God’s purposes for suffering in the lives of human beings. While I originally thought this would be a two-part series, the length of these articles has forced me to make it into a three-part series. Previously we saw how most in our culture have the same view of suffering. We called this the Earth-Mirrors-Heaven view; the idea that our life on earth is an indicator of how God feels about us. However, we saw the bevy of people in the Bible  (Noah, Moses, Anna, Peter, Paul just to name a few) who experienced prolonged suffering and opposition in their life with whom God was pleased. Those figures showed us how both of the following graphics aren’t necessarily true like we unknowingly believe in our gut.

Even after knowing this, we still have not spoken about the actual reasons for suffering. That is where we will begin today – with general reasons for suffering in this world. The Bible claims these reasons for suffering are universally true in the life of every person, whether they follow Jesus or not. In many ways, these reasons work as shadows that lurk behind every heartbreak we encounter. From there, we will examine God’s purposes for suffering in the life of the person who does not have faith in Christ. Finally, we will move to suffering in the life of the Christian, but that won’t be touched until the final article set for this week.

 

General Reasons for Suffering

These reasons for suffering are true in every case. Whether you find out news that you have cancer, get your wallet stolen, experience a deadly pandemic, or the loss of a loved one – these reasons are universally true.

 1) The Fall

  • Bible: Therefore, just as sin came into the world through one man, and death through sin, and so death spread to all men because all sinned —  for sin indeed was in the world before the law was given, but sin is not counted where there is no law. Yet death reigned from Adam to Moses, even over those whose sinning was not like the transgression of Adam, who was a type of the one who was to come. (Romans 5:12-14)
  • Explanation: The Bible gives a specific reason that accounts for all suffering. It claims that all suffering has its ties back to Adam and Eve’s first sin. Most Christians call this “The Fall.” Notice what Paul says in the book of Romans: because our first parents’ transgression, sin came into the world and death/decay through sin. Here’s something very important to note: this means humanity was not created to suffer. That is not in our biological make-up. For those of you who have been to funerals or children’s cancer hospitals, you know these never feel normal. And they never will. Adam and Eve’s sin made them sinners by nature, passing it down to all those after them (including you and me). This is why the Bible can say we are born sinners – not because we pickpocket the doctor as he pulls us out of the birthing canal – but because our natures are corrupted. We are born with a heart that wants to rule itself, not submit to God’s good ways. We are both heartbreakers who will sin against others and the heartbroken who will be sinned against. 

2) “That’s Life” Living in a Fallen World

  • Bible: Then I saw that there is more gain in wisdom than in folly, as there is more gain in light than in darkness. The wise person has his eyes in his head, but the fool walks in darkness. And yet I perceived that the same event happens to all of them. Then I said in my heart, “What happens to the fool will happen to me also. Why then have I been so very wise?” And I said in my heart that this also is vanity (Ecclesiastes 2:13-15)
  • Explanation: This is one of those verses that many unfamiliar with Christianity would not expect to find in the Bible. It comes from the Wisdom portion of the Bible (Job, Proverbs, Ruth, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon). These books seek to familiarize the reader with suffering and teach them how to suffer well. One of the books carries the distinct tone of someone who realizes he just can’t win in this life – Ecclesiastes. In chapter two, Solomon (the author of the book) writes about how he looked out into the world and witnessed that living a life that revolves around the Lord pays off in most situations (“Then I saw that there is more gain in wisdom than in folly”). Yet at the same time, anger and confusion well up inside him. He notices how the wise have it no better off than the fool: “What happens to the fool will happen to me also. Why then have I been so very wise?” He is essentially saying, “What the heck?!? Have I loved God for nothing?!?
    ©1989 National Lampoons Christmas Vacation
    I’m suffering just like the wicked man!!” Solomon felt like he had been Clark Griswold-ed – expecting a nice, fat Christmas bonus but instead getting a one-year membership in the Jelly-of-the-Month Club. What is Ecclesiastes doing here? It makes more sense if you see that the book is written from the viewpoint of earth looking up to heaven (the opposite of a book like Job that begins with the perspective of heaven looking down). In Job, you know what’s going on the whole time because you so the exchange between God and Satan in the first two chapters. Ecclesiastes does not give you that vantage point. Solomon dares to remind the reader of what we all truly long for – a life without toil, frustration, pain and death – and how that longing is a good thing! However, that kind of life cannot be expected in the present age. If you live long enough, you will suffer. You will bury people you never dreamed you would bury, and you will lose more than you ever thought you could lose. However, the place your heart really longs for will be realized one day if you are in Christ. Until then, hold on to Jesus and His Word with all you have and take Ecclesiastes’ final words with seriousness: “The end of the matter, all has been heard. Fear God and keep his commandments, for this is the whole duty of man. For God will bring every deed into judgment, with every secret thing, whether good or evil.” (Ecclesiastes 12:13-14)

 

Specific Reasons for Suffering

To the surprise of some, God does not give the same promises for all humanity regarding suffering. In other words, the way the Bible’s storyline does not allow a person to read promises in the Bible to anyone and everyone in pain. There is one major dividing line Scripture insists on that differentiates suffering into two camps: those who have repented of their sins and those who have not. This is what makes Christianity so different – it is impossible to throw out fortune cookies about how to deal with suffering. Whether a person knows the Lord or not makes all the difference in whether there is any hope in their suffering or not. Let’s look first at those who might not know the Lord. What are some reasons for their suffering?

Reasons Non-Followers of Christ Suffer

1) A warning shot for final judgment

  • Bible: There were some present at that very time who told him about the Galileans whose blood Pilate had mingled with their sacrifices. And he answered them, “Do you think that these Galileans were worse sinners than all the other Galileans, because they suffered in this way? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish. Or those eighteen on whom the tower in Siloam fell and killed them: do you think that they were worse offenders than all the others who lived in Jerusalem? No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” (Luke 13:1-5)
  • Explanation: In the above passage, you will note how some people came to Jesus with some CNN headlines. The governor of the province, Pontius Pilate, had punished several Jews for an unknown act. Their punishment? Death by sacrifice. Pilate killed these men and mixed their own blood with the blood of the animals they sacrificed to the Lord. This was an atrocity in Jewish culture! The people wondered, “were the men who suffered this fate worse sinners?” You can understand where they’re coming from – that was a horrible death. They reasoned these dead men must have had some secret sins no one knew about for God to destine them for that kind of suffering. However, Jesus’s response catches the crowds off guard.  He essentially says, “No way!” before citing another freak accident that happened closeby. Jesus describes another event where people were out for a stroll in a nearby city. Tragically, a tower came crashing down on a few innocent bystanders. 100% accident. Jesus essentially tells them, “It’s not because of their wickedness they suffered this fate.” But then he drops the mic: “No, I tell you; but unless you repent, you will all likewise perish.” Wow! Confused? Here’s what he means: every ounce of suffering a non-Christian feels works like a warning shot, an appetizer, of a much more painful judgment to come. Maybe you who are reading this would not consider yourself a follower of Jesus – hear this warning. You think the pain and suffering you feel is bad? Can you imagine longing for it as if it were enjoyable? This life is as good as it gets for you. Every experience of suffering acts as a warning of greater judgment, getting louder and coming closer with every moment a man or woman does not repent. It does not have to be that way though — Jesus Christ calls all humanity to turn from their sins and escape this wrath to come.

2) To show the religiously lost they do not know God after all so that they would be saved

  • Bible: “For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 5:3-5
  • Explanation: Out of all the ones on the list so far, this reason is the biggest stretch to find in the Bible. I honestly do believe it is there, and in multiple places. The text above comes from 1 Corinthians, where Paul is rebuking the church for their arrogance in how they had avoided church disciplining of a man who who was currently in a sexual relationship with his mother-in-law.  They probably thought they were being tolerant, or that they were “loving” the man by not doing this. However, Paul reminds them the kindest and most loving thing they could do was exercise church discipline on the man. In doing so, they were figuratively “handing this man over to Satan for the destruction of his flesh.” But what does he mean by that? He means the church would stop treating him like a Christian and would let the man chase after his sin, knowing the pain, suffering, and heartbreak is going to come. Not if you’re like me, at first that does not sound very loving. But look at how Paul clarifies it: “so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.” Paul is saying that God may use the suffering this person encounters because of their sin to show them they did not know Jesus in the first place. When they begin to taste the bitterness of their life of sin, they may remember the sweetness of what they heard about the grace of God in Christ. Therefore, the suffering these people go through alerts them to the fact that they may have been religious people, but not Christians. Maybe a modern-day analogy will help. In the South, many people think as long as a person genuinely repeats a sinner’s prayer or responds to an “altar call,” they are a Christian. The Bible would be very wary of that. It assumes that mankind is so lost, we even use religion and Christian-ish things to still love their sin and stay in control of our own lives. Many walk around who have repeated prayers and walked aisles, but they show no evidence of what the Bible would call a Christian. I was one of those between the ages of 8 and 16. Therefore, we see God is so merciful that sometimes he uses suffering in the life of someone who looks like a believer but is not to lead them to the gospel of Christ.

 

Reasons Followers of Christ Suffer

 To be continued…

suffering

Sick-of-Home or Sick-at-Home: COVID-19 and a Reminder of God’s Intentions for Your Suffering

This is part one of a three-part series on God and our suffering.

I hate scary movies. Actually, let me rephrase: my friends hate scary movies. Well, not quite; more accurately: my friends hate scary movies when they sit next to me. Anyone who has been to a thriller at a local movie theater and sat next to me knows just how traumatic of an experience it can be. During the most intense parts, my seat mysteriously empties as I crawl into my neighbor’s lap – despite their best efforts to push me away. I confess I might be a little bit of a scared-y-cat when it comes to movies. Perhaps the most intense thriller I remember was in the early 2000’s – M. Night Shyamalan’s classic Signs starring Mel Gibson. The movie centers around Graham Hess (Gibson), an Episcopal priest who appears to “lose” his faith before regaining it.

Mel Gibson, Signs, ©2002

In the beginning, Hess seems like an awfully conflicted man without reason – that is, until a flashback reveals the source of his conflict. Before their eyes, the moviegoer watches a scene six months earlier as a car struck Hess’s wife during a pre-dinner walk, pinning her to a tree. The injury kept her alive long enough for him to drive to the accident and say goodbye. I can still picture the emotional scene to this day, as Hess says farewell to his wife for the last time. 

Though Signs took many unexpected plot turns, it ultimately focused on the theme of how people grapple with faith in one hand and suffering/devastation on the other hand; hence the deliberate portrayal of Hess as an Episcopal priest. The movie is meant to provoke thought in the movie-goer about how they wrestle with their own suffering. 

Saying Nothing While Saying Something

Reflecting on the movie and the suffering of those around me, I’ve noticed some particularly alarming trends. One such trend is how many of my fellow Christians have a thin view of suffering in its relationship to God. You can see it because their suffering usually leaves them spiritually traumatized. I find this particularly true with those who have been raised going to church. Don’t get me wrong – this is not me criticizing them. I don’t think they are the ones to blame. For the first 30 years of my life, I had a poor understanding of suffering and God’s intentions for it. I think we’ve all been taught poorly in this area. 

The Bible has a ton to say about God and suffering. For the most part, many pastors and teachers either gloss over it – or worse – they focus on one aspect of suffering while they miss others. Now think about this – if all of us have little to no understanding about suffering, how do you think that will impact us when we actually do suffer? I’ll tell you the results – we will be the kind of people who rely on trite sayings that sound somewhat profound, but honestly don’t heal our wounds at all. You’ve probably heard some of these: “God is just getting your attention,” or “You’re going through this for a reason.” However, like a wedding speech given by a drunk groomsman, these popular phrases seem to say a lot, but think about it – do they really say anything at all?

“God’s getting my attention” – okay. Why? Am I dying? Am I sinning? Does he hate me? Is he happy with me? Is he angry at me? Is something coming that I need to know about? 

“You’re going through this for a reason” – uhhh…that’s helpful…kinda…ish? But you know what would be way more helpful? Hmmm…how about a hint at the actual reason. Or how about at least a layout of the options? Is it a good reason? Is it a bad reason? Is the reason because of my spouse? Child? Friend? Cat? 

I’m curious: can you begin to see the problem with these? By reflecting on some of our thin beliefs about suffering, a question emerges: how can we grow in our understanding and see the Lord in our suffering? I mean, wouldn’t you want to know how to handle your own suffering better? I sure would. Three things will really help us here: 1) we need to examine what we believe deep down about God and suffering, 2) look at what the Bible says about suffering and how that is way better news for us than what we believe in our gut, and, 3) look at the kaleidoscope of reasons the Bible says suffering exists. Then we can compare that list to our own suffering (this will be the subject of the second article).

Earth Mirrors Heaven

What do we really believe about suffering? I think the vast majority of Americans believe the same thing about God’s relationship to suffering, even if they are not a follower of Jesus. I call it the “Earth Mirrors Heaven” view of suffering. Here’s the gist of it: earth is the mirror of heaven in the sense that however my relationship with God is doing (how pleased he is with me), that will be reflected for the most part on earth (what my life is like here). If God is pleased with me, my life will generally be good. If he is not pleased, my life will be taking a turn for the worst. Here’s what this would look like if I drew it:


Now before I go any further, let me say this: 1) I do not believe this is what the Bible says about suffering, and, 2) I don’t think most people (me included) realize how much we believe this. Let me give some examples and you will see how you might unknowingly default to this belief. Most people will not fall into the first two categories, but everyone will fall into the third.

 

  1. Hard Core Fans in Earth Mirrors Heaven – Prosperity Teachers. If you tune into the television station TBN, you will find the hardcore fans in the Earth Mirrors Heaven belief. These TV preachers will say something to the tune of how God shows his pleasure with someone by making them healthy and wealthy. “Do you want to see a Christian who God is pleased with? Just look at their success on earth. Look at the ones with successful businesses, excellent financial portfolios, beautiful wives, and multiple cars.” These are your run-of-the-mill false teachers that even those who don’t follow Jesus look at like, “Are you kidding me?” Examples: Joel Osteen – Lakeview Church, Bill Johnson – Bethel Church, Joyce Meyer – Joyce Meyer Ministries.
  2. Big Fans in Earth Mirrors Heaven – The Moral (But Unbelieving) Church Member. There is a more subtle version of the belief that Earth Mirrors Heaven. Surprisingly, it infects those who sometimes appear to be the most faithful church members, however as Jesus warned, many of these probably do not know Him. Their relationship with God is not about a day to day walk of enjoying him. Rather, they are content to keep the outward form of religion. Their life mostly revolves around looking godly. They might give money, but they give so they can have the feeling that God is pleased so that they may hoard (or blow) the rest. They keep all kinds of commandments, but they do so to feel better about themselves. If tragedy strikes those in this group, they are often confused. “Why?” After all, they have kept the rules! They have attended church gatherings! They have an expectation that their deeds should have been seen in the heavens, therefore the result should be a better life. They do not say this out loud like the above group of Hard Core Fans of Earth Mirrors Heaven, but you can see the root of the belief there.
  3. Fans-Who-Don’t-Know-They’re-Fans in Earth Mirrors Heaven – Most Christians (Including Me at Times). I was counseling a young Christian leader in 2011. He was broken-hearted, but more than that he was concerned. We sat there in a room on a late July afternoon. His girlfriend just broke up with him and he wanted to be married so badly, but he was concerned God would no longer bring him a wife. Why? Because years earlier, he had slept with a previous girlfriend. Though this guy truly did love the Lord, he thought this was God’s way of giving him what he deserved for past disobedience. But notice his first response to trial – I think we will all find it familiar. His first instinct is to say, “what did I do wrong?” He flips through his past sins like they’re the Yellow Pages, finds the most egregious one he can think of, and says, “Oh God, have mercy because you must be punishing me for that! I’m sorry!” Here’s what this young leader didn’t know at the time: it was his underlying belief that Earth Mirrors Heaven that drove him to deep anguish. You would never put this guy in groups 1 or 2, but can’t you see how, at his core, his belief was somewhat similar?

 

Isn’t that interesting? There is something almost hardwired in us to think of suffering in this way. But is that the way the Bible describes our suffering? As you read, you begin to discover that is not the case. Just think of those the Bible highlights as those who were particularly faithful:

  • Noah was mocked for 120 years. Not only that, he probably had to listen to friends and relatives drown as the floodwaters started rising.
  • Sarah had to suffer through 30 years of uncertainty and emotional turmoil before God kept his promise.
  • Joseph rotted in a jail cell for the better part of a decade because of a false accusation.
  • Moses wanted the Lord to kill him because he was so sick of the Israelites attacking his motives and leadership.
  • Anna lost her husband while they were both still young and spent the rest of her days single.
  • Paul and Peter were beaten their whole ministries and were eventually executed.

Am I forgetting someone?!? Oh yeah, Jesus Christ. He’s kinda important in the Bible, since all of the Bible is about him.

In fact, it’s hard to think of anyone who loved the Lord with all they had that didn’t go through a life of intense suffering and/or persecution. Godliness, for the vast majority of those in the Bible, turns what we believe in our gut on its head. It often times (though not 100% of the time) looks like this:

Notice what this diagram is not saying. It’s not saying, “God is pleased because my life sucks.” No, it is instead saying, “Despite how bad things look, God is inherently pleased with you because of Christ.” 

Yet the Bible goes beyond this — it shows how others lived comfortable and good lives — yet those people should have zero confidence that God is pleased. They might have a good life now, but judgment is coming if they do not repent from their sins and trust in Christ’s death. But how could God do this? How could he show such injustice by treating those who know and love him with suffering while treating those who hate him with kindness?

 

The Day Injustice Was On Our Side

Where do all these questions lead us? It seems like a dark road, doesn’t it? That is…unless you see where that dark road leads. That is…unless you see who has walked that dark road before. One of the great comforts of Christianity is the fact that God knows injustice and suffering differently. The gods of Islam, Buddhism, and any other religion might know about suffering, but never do they humbly enter into suffering themselves. Right at the moment we have our questions about God’s injustice, we see something curious about him: he is the God who knows injustice firsthand. The greatest day of injustice the world has ever known is when Jesus Christ, the maker of everything, perfect and spotless, was treated like the most vile murderer, self-righteous fool, rapist, and thief. And why did he willingly do this? So the real murderers, self-righteous fools, rapists, and thieves could go free. 

There was a day injustice reigned. And what did God bring about on that day? The forgiveness of many and the greatest good the world will ever know. This sheds light on that dark path we walk on as Christians. It shows us that oftentimes, we can’t trust what we can see with our own two eyes. It shows that each of these can be true in this life, and we can’t say one is universally true:



However, as we’ll examine on the next blog, the Bible shows that God uses suffering as the gateway to glory. It shows that suffering does not have the last word. In fact, suffering has the ability to do something beautiful to us and in us — not just in the next life, but rather in this life as well.

 

To be continued…

 

sweethearts

No XOXO?: What to Do When You’re Nobody’s Valentine

    All the anticipation was there. I had my Power Ranger’s Valentine’s Day cards carefully laid out on the floor – each card having the name of one of my closest friends. Of course, some people would get a card from me who I never spent time with on our school’s pirate ship-themed playground. But then again, when I was in the 2nd grade you had to make sure nobody got left out. I remember even as an 8-year-old carefully counting the cards to make sure there were enough for the next day. But even to this day, I remember one of those cards carried a little more meaning than the others. On the front of that card stood the name, “Amber.” Don’t get me wrong, I was not about to fess up to liking a girl at that age. No way, José! Nothing would bring a 2nd-grade boy more ridicule than fraternizing with the enemy. After all, they played those silly hand-clapping games and braided hair all day. But yet, there was a part of me even then wondering – no, hoping – that she would give me a Valentine’s Day card as well.

    Well, the next day came. I dropped a card in everyone’s Valentine’s Day bag – perhaps lingering a little longer at her bag to see if she would notice. I remember at the end of the party, I grabbed my bag and shuffled through the twenty-something cards from my other classmates. I didn’t care about all of them. I just cared about one. Sure enough, there it was. I remember feeling the exhilaration that I actually had a Valentine. Of course, looking back at it, this little girl gave a Valentine to everyone in the class. But as a 2nd grader, I didn’t know that. All I knew was that I had a genuine V-A-L-E-N-T-I-N-E.

    Valentine’s Day is a big deal to our culture, and it’s become even bigger than when I was in the 2nd grade. Last year, Americans were predicted to spend an average of $146.33 each on Valentine’s Day – that’s right – $19.6 billion.  What kind of messages are people trying to send with that kind of money? Well, people use Valentine’s Day in a variety of ways: some use it to confess their feelings for a friend, some to remind their husband of their love, while still others might use it to try and make up for a year’s worth of inattentiveness to their wife. 

    With all the lovey-dovey chocolates and flowers that get passed around in February, it’s easy to get an idealized picture of love. But the roses don’t always turn up red on Valentine’s Day. One group of people who go overlooked on this day is a group I actually belong to: singles. That’s right – no spouse, no girlfriend, no hand to hold, no XOXO, and absolutely no Sweetheart candies with cute words on them. Singles are a huge part of our population, and if you go to a church like mine, they might make up a large percentage of your church’s population. That leads to my question: what can singles like me (or perhaps like you reading this) do on Valentine’s Day?

God Knows Your Difficulty

    I don’t think it should come as a shock that Valentine’s Day is such a big deal to so many people. The day at its very least reveals something about humanity – we are desiring creatures. We not only long for people and things, but we also longed to be longed for. Hence why on that Valentine’s Day in 2nd grade, it was not enough for me just to give that girl a valentine. I longed for a card from her. But what happens when that desire to be longed for goes unmet? I think everyone knows the horrible feeling. It’s like a papercut to the heart – not enough to kill you, but enough to make you shudder whenever you think about it.

    For many single Christians, February 14th initiates a panic where their brain tells them to stop worrying about that “crazy little thing called love.” Instead, they are to manage any heartache as best they can when Cupid comes around the corner. Most hope to go through the day escaping any notice, pleading to God they will not hear the dreaded, “God’s got someone out there for you,” speech for the 14,000th time (#WhatMightBeTrueIsNotAlwaysHelpful). Thus, Valentine’s Day can function as a day when many single Christians are tempted to doubt God’s good provision and careful attentiveness to their life. After all, does he really feel the anguish you feel? 

But that’s where the Bible has a good word for those who long to be longed for. Solomon writes,

Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. (Proverbs 13:12)

Now you might read that and say, “Duh! When I don’t get something I want, I hurt.” But that is not exactly what Solomon is getting at. I think many of us tend to think God looks at us the same way a group of 40-year old’s look at a young teenager who just got broken up with. As if God just grimaces/smiles, thinking, “Yeah, she thinks that her whole world is crashing down. She’s got a lot to learn.” I don’t think that’s the case based on this proverb. Solomon is saying there really is something anguishing about having your heart want something so badly while constantly having that desire go unfulfilled. Some evolutionary biologist might tell you this anguish is just a neurological response your body goes through in response to a lack of stimulation. Not the Bible – it says the pain you feel, that junk is real and wasn’t meant to happen! You were created to find all your longings fulfilled by the God of the Universe, but that all changed because of Adam and Eve’s rebellion and sin entering the world. We went from being a perfectly satisfied human race to satisfaction leeches, latching onto anything and everything to suck meaning, identity, and life out of things. Thus, unfulfilled hope is now a part of our lives, and it doesn’t just affect your body, it affects every part of you: body and soul.

    Single Christian, when you run to the Bible during this time of year, know that God’s Word does not deny your heartache. But instead, we run to the Word of God who became flesh and tasted of the anguish this fallen world contains. And he will carry you through (even if your anguish remains temporarily) to the day when he wipes away every tear.

You Gotta Work at This Gift

    I remember as an 11-year old, Christmas day rolled around and my Dad got us a completely unexpected gift – an electric guitar. It was a candy-apple-red Squire Strat. I had not even mentioned wanting to play, but when I saw it, I thought, “Oh great! Let’s do this!” As I soon found out, I was horrible at guitar. I had no music background, and couldn’t play even the simplest of songs. Even after a year of lessons, I quit, only to pick up the same instrument years later. Today I have been playing guitar for 20 years, and I’ve become a professional through lots of hard work, practice and study. Looking back on that Christmas day, that was a cool gift my Dad gave, but it was a gift that required work and intentionality to be able to use it properly.

    Being single for 34 years of my life, I have found the single life is much more like an instrument than many would think. Paul, in writing to a church to sort out their relationship issues, says to the singles in the congregation:

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another. To the unmarried and the widows, I say that it is good for them to remain single as I am. But if they cannot exercise self-control, they should marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:5-7)

    If you just read that as I did, you will notice Paul just called singleness a “gift.” Now, this is where many will throw up their hands and say, “David, I don’t have the gift of singleness that you apparently have since you can see it as a gift.” First of all, I don’t think I have the gift of singleness. I long for a wife like a penguin in Miami longs for an iceberg. Second, I think from this verse, Paul has two kinds of singleness in mind: 1) a permanent singleness and, 2) a temporary singleness. I think there is a permanent singleness that can be a gift from the Lord. This is what Paul is referring to when he says, “I wish that all were as I myself am (single). But each has his own gift from God…” Paul had that gift. Some godly people undoubtedly have that as well. Not everyone who is single has that gift, though.

    But Paul also assumes the gift temporary singleness here as well (“But each has his own gift from God…”). Each of the people in this congregation had a gift – some of the gift of marriage, others the gift permanent singleness, and still others the gift of temporary singleness. However, some of those walking in that gift of temporary singleness were experiencing burning passion, which functioned as a sign that they should try to transition from their current gift (temporary singleness) to another gift (marriage). 

    Here’s what that means single Christian – even if you are not in your preferred relationship status, you are amid a gift right now. You are walking in a gift even if you don’t have the gift of permanent singleness. For this season in life and until the Lord brings you a spouse, you have more free time and fewer responsibilities than a married man or woman in the same position. For one, this means your current state is not cursed by God. But also, it means that something is not just automatically wrong with you. You’ve been given a great gift, even if it’s a temporary gift with an expiration date. 

    But how do you use that gift, and how do you come to not view it like a piece of fruitcake you got as a gift at Christmas (the most re-gifted gift ever)? I think this is where it can be helpful to view our gift of temporary singleness like the guitar my Dad gave me all the years ago – it’s a gift that takes work and intentionality. If you are not careful and intentional, I know firsthand how easy the heart can become embittered by the very thing God desires to use to bring beautiful fruit from your life. The result of such bitterness is poison to the soul, as well as the wasting of a gift more precious than we can possibly imagine. So that leads us to the question: how do we work at this gift? Let’s start with Valentine’s Day…

Redeem Your Valentine’s Day

    If you want to make your singleness as great of time possible, there are things you might want to both practice and avoid. Let’s start with the negative on Valentine’s Day.  What kind of things might you want to avoid? The Hallmark Channel, staying home by yourself gorging on Romantic Comedies, listening to Taylor Swift albums, and stalking Facebook (looking at your ex’s profile or watching all the other Valentine’s moments of your friends wishing that was you) just to name a few. None of these things are wrong per se — I mean, like a good Taylor Swift song as much as any 14-year-old girl. But there are certain seasons of my heart where wisdom would have me stay away from these because of what my heart will do with those good things.

    Now for the positive — what are some things to do on Valentine’s Day? From experience, we know anytime the human heart has a desire that goes unfulfilled, it quickly moves into loathing, self-criticism, and self-pity. I think one of God’s great antidotes to self-pity and bitterness is for us to go on the offensive by showing loving kindness through service and self-sacrifice. That’s why I would urge you to make your Valentine’s Day about self-sacrifice. 

    My favorite suggestion? Grab some roses from the store and turn Friday, February 14th into a day where you give Valentines to people in your church who have lost their Valentines: widows. I’m speaking about those in your church who don’t get out of their house or nursing home. Maybe even take them out to a movie date. Make your night into a night of listening. Visit several of them — some visits might go well, others not so well. But in visiting, you get to ask good questions, weeping with those who weep and mourning with those who mourn. Listen to them, read a Psalm to them, and pray for them.

    For those longing to be longed for, know that is a good desire God has planted within your heart. However, until the day he or she comes and God grants you the gift of marriage, or until the Lord takes you home, take advantage of the great gift he’s currently given you. Care for it, work at it, pray to the Lord you will use it well, and fight for joy by giving of yourself to serve others during this season.